I-am an everlasting dream



I rolled my eyes down my phone book. I saw my call list, all the numbers I had dialed, all the numbers i had got a call from, all the numbers that I had missed. Now I have not a single person I could call. Just call...

Not a single person, I could meaningfully message. loneliness is so out of fashion man. I am either supposed to be shopping crazy,walking into and into the numerous alleys of some eighteenth century market or laughing up and down the escalators of some splendid mall. Or eating out, somewhere...counting my calories and my cash.

I always have loved being alone though, writing things on my computer, listening to my kind of music, staring at the walls, without quite knowing that I am doing so. Sinking into depths of mushy thought; mulling over things. Or flat imagining, of how things could have been, had life been otherwise. But at times, being lonely is so out of fashion it seems, when you see chicks chatting away on that phone thing, getting away for those infinite walks...to the road near the mountain.

When I stare out of my window, the green highs of the mountain are still a hazy, thought inducing extremity; the cloud hidden peaks are a faint hint of romance for my heart, long solitary walks are for inspiring my indolent self, and keeping a track of myself.

For me life is a distant proposition and love, an impossibility.

22 comments:

anirudh said...

zindagi namumkin ka doosra ropp hai...pata nahi...
zindagi kya hai..janaane ke liye
zinda rehna bahut zaroori hai
aaj taq koi bhi raha to nahi

d SINNER!!! said...

huh....its tough to be lonely....and toughest to be alone...

which does one belong to makes all the difference....

Solitaire said...

You write my thoughts down so well.
Is this me you are talking about?

Bizarre Kid said...

I can probably relate myself to this post of yours. That is how I feel now. Love! Looks like it's impossible. Since I don't have a person in my life whom I could 'just' call, I stopped using my mobile.. weird na! hehe!

It feels good to sit all alone in a pitch dark room. The very next moment I might end up saying that I'm fed up of this dark life. Basically, we're all confused! And this is how the whole world goes.. Nothing much to worry babes!

Sunil said...

hi...i knew you wrote but didnt know you write so well...

i have some blogs at this link...

http://sunil-space.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm

Abhishek Khanna said...

same here :)

utkarsh said...

Being alone is good .. not always though.
I would prefer a good amount of active social life with bits of solitude thrown in to spice it up :)
But you know what .. all these wants and emotions are just phases of life. I will get over it one day and so will you :)
I just hope it happens soon for you :)

The Lass said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
wildflower said...

@ anirudh
zinda rehna bahut zaroori hai
aaj taq koi bhi raha to nahi
I guess...i got that to some extent

@ d sinner
Am I both?

@ solitaire
:) YES!

@ bizzare kid
Basically, we're all confused!
very true...!
n i reely reely appreciate your comment...do we connect or sumthin?

@ sunil
thanxx :)

@ abhishek
Same with almost the all of us. LoL

@ utkarsh
Are we alone by choice or is it a compulsion?
And are these phases..? Anyway

Anonymous said...

loneliness is a relative i believe...one can find immense pleasure with the company of self or even feel lonely in a crowd...u write good stuff....i appreciate that....ur writing is just like sumthg floatin on the surface ....

isebeliz said...

ur blogs r really good....u r a dreamy person i guess...just keep up the good work

d SINNER!!! said...

ds'nt seem so...

when one is content wth the loneliness...its needed...

what say?

wildflower said...

People
One thing I have to say is that I am basically happy with my frustration, because I know I die the moment I get content with my life
So never pity people who are lonely...loneliness brews up good words...
That's all

@ d sinner
WERy WELl Said!

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

dont you think that beinh independant is much better than those chicks who drift from one boyfriend to another.. from one shopping spree to the next one?
I think you are a mature person and you will find better things in life. I think you are better than a chick with a phone. too often we forget how blessed and unique we are... we just want to be like all the others... we want to be ordinary when we are so special and unique.
think about it.I hope this makes sense.
Cheers!

Bizarre Kid said...

Maybe!! Impressed ;)

relations said...

helloji..

love i not impossible bcoz its there in every part of you..

................your's entirely said...

well....like every other thing in life...being alone has it's own pros and cons.but being at peace with oneself is the one sole thing that we can strive for...

Devil's Advocate said...

I think, sometimes a person does feel alone.....but over a period, it turns from loneliness to solitude...and dats where we start to understand ourselves better and get things clearly...

wildflower said...

@ raaji
we want to be ordinary when we are so special and unique.
thank you...!
n definitely, i am better...i wont be writing all this otherwise LoL

@ relations
It could be that way also :)

@....your's entirely
Ekdum sahiii---!!! All I crave for is
Peeeee@@@@@@@@cccEEEEEe

@ devil's advocate
Solitude has been a good catalyst in helping me discover secrets that i had kept from myself

maverick said...

For me life is a distant proposition and love, an impossibility.

hmm...love is never an impossibility...

a quote from shantaram

"love cannot be tested....honesty can, and loyalty....but not love...love goes on forever, once it starts, even if we come to hate the person we love....love goes on forever because love is born in the part of us which does not die..."

Ashu said...

You echo my thots. My thots on this post. Being lonely, distant possiblity of love. Wow.

Am happy to read this :)

Mez said...

U know what...am goin thru exactly the same thing. U wrote my heart out here. Btw u still havent visited me on my new blog.