Episodes on strangers keep running about in my mind. And they do not rest until I write them away. Strangers are relatively more decisive about making me write about them.
I do not open the door in shorts, I don't. The afternoon felt like midsummer as I perched on the couch, legs flung on the teapoy like they weren't mine, watching another absurd movie on HBO. Just then I heard the doorbell. We weren't expecting anyone, but I felt it could be mom early from work. I saw two familiar strangers through the door-eye and opened. I hadn't slipped into anything decently long because I knew they were strangers and won't just walk into our living room! Okay, I am not justifying myself, I was just lazy. Anyway. There stood a stout man smiling and a woman, should be his wife. He asked me if mom was home, and he did look like a typical colleague of hers actually. When I smiled and said no, he asked if I could recall who he was. I obviously couldn't. I mean come on, it's me! Then he just followed me into the house and started talking. I had absolutely no idea why let them in, for all I knew I did not know them. The woman asked for water, mom has coached me to treat people better. I gave them coke! And then he asked me where my mother was working these days. I should have been surprised, because dude, I thought you were her colleague. But guess what, I wasn't. I mean c'mon it's me! I chatted with them, the compulsive gay blabber I enforce on myself when there are people around I am expected to talk to. He asked me where dad worked! Hell.. and he asked for my mom's number. I still didn't wonder if something was fishy. The drama went on for a dozen more minutes before they left. I wasn't duped after all, the man used to know my mom and had come to see a flat in our building.
But there was another situation, sometime ago. I was walking back from the bank, the long line was frustrating and we weren't so much into e-banking and stuff then. A bike slowed down right beside me. I didn't seem to notice. Must have been thinking about Siberia for all I care, I always seem to be lost somehow. The guy said he saw me in the bank, and I said okay. And he told me that he was a distant relative, or some cousin's friend or something and has been to my house many times. I bought that. I bought that. Can you believe it? In fact I told him where I lived, and I was smiling at him. I should be nicer to people I always thought. And he kept throwing stones in the dark, guesses about my cousin and my family, which were all wrong. And I kept correcting him. I didn't, I didn't for a nanosecond think that this guy could be some stalker or something. Finally when he asked me for a coffee, I realized something was wrong. Somehow, random divinity on my side, my stupidity took a break and I got him off myself and denied him the cup of coffee after a long argument. I came up with a series of excuses, yeah excuses. I still didn't accuse him of anything. He said he would give me a lift anyway seeming pissed off, or even angry. I let him be and walked back home muttering, sonovabitch!
I
I do not open the door in shorts, I don't. The afternoon felt like midsummer as I perched on the couch, legs flung on the teapoy like they weren't mine, watching another absurd movie on HBO. Just then I heard the doorbell. We weren't expecting anyone, but I felt it could be mom early from work. I saw two familiar strangers through the door-eye and opened. I hadn't slipped into anything decently long because I knew they were strangers and won't just walk into our living room! Okay, I am not justifying myself, I was just lazy. Anyway. There stood a stout man smiling and a woman, should be his wife. He asked me if mom was home, and he did look like a typical colleague of hers actually. When I smiled and said no, he asked if I could recall who he was. I obviously couldn't. I mean come on, it's me! Then he just followed me into the house and started talking. I had absolutely no idea why let them in, for all I knew I did not know them. The woman asked for water, mom has coached me to treat people better. I gave them coke! And then he asked me where my mother was working these days. I should have been surprised, because dude, I thought you were her colleague. But guess what, I wasn't. I mean c'mon it's me! I chatted with them, the compulsive gay blabber I enforce on myself when there are people around I am expected to talk to. He asked me where dad worked! Hell.. and he asked for my mom's number. I still didn't wonder if something was fishy. The drama went on for a dozen more minutes before they left. I wasn't duped after all, the man used to know my mom and had come to see a flat in our building.
II
But there was another situation, sometime ago. I was walking back from the bank, the long line was frustrating and we weren't so much into e-banking and stuff then. A bike slowed down right beside me. I didn't seem to notice. Must have been thinking about Siberia for all I care, I always seem to be lost somehow. The guy said he saw me in the bank, and I said okay. And he told me that he was a distant relative, or some cousin's friend or something and has been to my house many times. I bought that. I bought that. Can you believe it? In fact I told him where I lived, and I was smiling at him. I should be nicer to people I always thought. And he kept throwing stones in the dark, guesses about my cousin and my family, which were all wrong. And I kept correcting him. I didn't, I didn't for a nanosecond think that this guy could be some stalker or something. Finally when he asked me for a coffee, I realized something was wrong. Somehow, random divinity on my side, my stupidity took a break and I got him off myself and denied him the cup of coffee after a long argument. I came up with a series of excuses, yeah excuses. I still didn't accuse him of anything. He said he would give me a lift anyway seeming pissed off, or even angry. I let him be and walked back home muttering, sonovabitch!
"compulsive gay blabber"
ReplyDeletehah.....funny post!!! :)
My mum is like that, bumping off into strangers and behaving like shes been best friends with them ever since birth!
ReplyDeleteI keep eyeballing her angrily to make her shut up and then she silently shudders and walks off with me.
Now that I am miles away, I wonder how she handles strangers!
Anonymous
ReplyDeleteHumor is harder than tragedy. I try my hand alternatively at either.
Enchanta
Moms are the cutest.. :)
:)
ReplyDeleteNevermind, I seldom remember names, rarer, faces. So even if an acquaintance bumps into me, all I can do is pretend, and pray. Good Riddance afterwards, I know it isn't good, but some faults are ingrained, maybe for some better plans. :)
Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete
Good Riddance of Bad Rubbish! hi5 :D
ReplyDelete