Have you been there? When the person right next to you, in your bed, wrapped in the same sheets feels like is miles away. And you're somewhere else. You don't particularly wish to be though. But you can't help it. And it feels only natural to be that way. Disconnected. A couple of years ago, you would even wonder if that was ever possible. Emotionally, biologically, rationally, irrationally, whatever.
With time, more than a few tides turn. Innocence leaves. Suddenly, as in almost overnight. Promises recede into oblivion. Particularly those written down on the last pages of school notebooks. If they don't head back stage, sometimes you kill them. In a heinous way you never imagined you could.
A lot of things change. The mind allows layers and layers protective sheaths over itself. Yet we remain the same within. It's funny, how you pretend to be different just to protect your undiluted self.
And one day you wake up with a stranger. Picking up shreds of clothing and not looking each other in the eye. You're not particularly ashamed of what you've done. Life wasn't supposed to be special anyway, and you've learned it the hard way. Nor do you let regret hover anywhere around your conscious. But still there is something, that itches. Could be that person you caged and protected underneath what you've become. And you don't let it torture you anymore.
You put up a bold face in the mirror and behave like nothing much has happened, but the obvious. Like you knew those wishes you fabricated before were juvenile hallucinations or something. Impractical nonsense.
..
With time, more than a few tides turn. Innocence leaves. Suddenly, as in almost overnight. Promises recede into oblivion. Particularly those written down on the last pages of school notebooks. If they don't head back stage, sometimes you kill them. In a heinous way you never imagined you could.
A lot of things change. The mind allows layers and layers protective sheaths over itself. Yet we remain the same within. It's funny, how you pretend to be different just to protect your undiluted self.
And one day you wake up with a stranger. Picking up shreds of clothing and not looking each other in the eye. You're not particularly ashamed of what you've done. Life wasn't supposed to be special anyway, and you've learned it the hard way. Nor do you let regret hover anywhere around your conscious. But still there is something, that itches. Could be that person you caged and protected underneath what you've become. And you don't let it torture you anymore.
You put up a bold face in the mirror and behave like nothing much has happened, but the obvious. Like you knew those wishes you fabricated before were juvenile hallucinations or something. Impractical nonsense.
..
3 comments:
all the time
Imperfect life is all that we all get in the end...Is it then worth all the pain ?
dont think too much. go with the flow. this is life. the morality, that makes one guilty, is christian and ancient. cheers :)
Post a Comment