Self Portrait

He is an egotist. He has a suave exterior. Very gentlemanly. He carries the weight of his reputed degrees. Numerous foreign trips. His consultant like mannerisms. His erudite family as well. The elegant wife, with slender arms. Who wears sleeveless blouses. Looks nice without suffocating herself with the effort to do so. And their recent addition, a bubbly little baby girl. He is the center of all that. He seems to be a nice man. His face is somewhat chiseled. He would have felt tremendously geeky, only a couple years ago. Now he is more seasoned. He isn't outweighed by his net-worth. But he silently takes an aggregate amount of pride in himself. Now that is not bad, is it. But it is. The modest exterior, vis-a-vis a crouching ego within is no child's play. You could never guess, when he's playing you and how. He could keep you guessing, even perplexed, may be. He would shower you with attention, one day. Ignore you the next. I know this category of men, only too well. Old acquaintances. He will pamper you and at the same time, make you feel completely abandoned. He takes a long time before making you realize, this, that you cannot trust him. And also that he's not the one. Never the one. 

YASP-III

when god made you

he must have been drunk

that's how

yu probably

got his eyes

passionately red

and searching

for god knows who

Temptation is good.

But Indulging & Regretting is even Better.

YASP-II

life is a silent dame

she doesn tellme

where shez takin me

i jus hope

that she is takin me

only

closer to you

YASP

One of my girlfriends found herself a cute guy. And the guy found

her in return. She wanted me to come over and meet. That meant

one thing- I would need to behave myself.

My opinions were obviously no more welcome. I was supposed to

make my presence felt as someone greatly elated with whatever

happens. And yet not cross those borders around passivity. And yet

be there for them. It is not as complicated as it seems. I have been

out with couples and prospective couples, before.

There was a phase when my opinions were asked for and

considered. There was a phase I was tired of romantic-consulting

offered free of cost. The questions made were on the lines of 'Will he

be right for me?' and in more sentimental modes of feminine

submissiveness 'Do I deserve him?' and etc. All those questions

were to be answered reassuringly affirmatively. Followed by many

chocolate-sauce-on-the-brownie sms's (or whatever the plural of

sms is). Sometimes third persons warn me I shouldn't push people

into relationships. But I hardly ever do that. They are willing

anyway.

This meeting was imperative. It was like a promise we made when

we were blossom buddies. Walking dark roads on cold evenings

throughout college, these were some of the treaties signed. To

show each other the person we were so going to live the rest of our

lives with. So she was simply complying to one such

understanding..

And the job is fun too. I will tell you why. As girls we shared some

typical notions. Now looking at those things happen for real would

be looking at the past through a wall of glass. You can see

everything so clearly and yet can't get back. Every moment you

feel like telling her how she thought he should be so-and-so but

now he has turned out to be not-so-and-not-so. But since she has

lost all sense of logic you dont utter a word except uttering what's

so a part of etiquette. You wonder how good the guy has made the

transition from 2-D to 3-D. From the pics of him that she sent you,

to real person of flesh and blood you are going to lose her to.

Relationships break away friendships. But I understand. That's life.

It probably is a set of ever changing priorities.

PS: YASP is for Yet Another Silly Post