Thirty-nine

Not once in the past years, forty odd
Did I stray 
Been singly tethered
Going around the sun
On a floating speck of dust
But I am tethered 
My vision is aimed on the righteous path
Toward light, or whatever that is
Determined to be good
Never failing my values
Not once betraying kindness, niceness
My voice is sweet, unheard in loud rooms, but sweet
The red heart- in my chest 
Perhaps is very capricious 
But I have sponged her up in fears enough 
We both stay moored 
Moderate, in our lane
Moored to rules
Broken, oh shattered, in smithereens
Struggling everyday and hour 
But never inching toward the devil that could be

So why, oh why now
That i feel that it’s not been worth the bargain 
Because I have only lost. And lost. Don’t know how.
And lost some more

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