journey...

Feels like
We will be travelling
Travelling and travelling
All along

With bushes
rushing past,trees
and trees and trees
by the road we take

Smoky vehicles
running ahead
leaving my rickety one
behind,far behind

I feel giddy
Besides there are
nausea and nostalgia
to be tackled

oh! I how much
I despise being
Nostalgic for the bygone
Helpless,lonely

Not that I am alone
My companion
dozes off on my shoulders
quiet and numb

S and A broke up. I knew this was to happen some day or the other. But even then, it did matter. Theirs was an affair I saw take birth, I saw them nurturing their bond with all they had. I knew how hard things were between them and how they gave in everything they had to make it live a little longer. But things didn’t work out, to say the least. And the inevitable was to happen. I do not know who the right man for her is, but somehow I always had known that A was not the good guy that S had perceived him to be. And sooner or later he had to show his true colors. Theirs was a relationship, which was born out of desperation more than anything else. I had always wanted theirs to be a happy life, and felt exalted whenever anything good happened to them. At least one of the two wishes was to live. And grow. But that was not destined to happen. Fate had it otherwise. And they did not last. Why? If only this was to happen, why at all did they meet? Why ever did they fall into that so-called trap of love? Why? Things would have been better otherwise. A heart without any scars is a thousand times better than a heart with so many. So many painful memories to be caged, so many moments to be relived every other day…so much of love to be thrown out of her heart. With all the strength that she needs to collect from amongst herself, I just do not want her to become weaker. And of course, I have learnt a lot from all this that happened, I have been an eyewitness to almost everything. Never did I ever have the chance to see something so fragile and real from such close quarters. I have learnt so much; so damn much, about everything that could have happened within just a year… to me….

Me

When I’m talking about abandoning myself to the darkness, I mean it.
I love solitude; I love feeling the mild breeze graze my face and hair.
I love darkness and loosing my existence walking stretches of never ending roads.
I love looking at the mountains merge into the night sky-blue and black
And yes of course, stars are my best friends
I would gaze at them, devour that vision of the star-studded sky till I die…
And talk to trees too…
I’m a nomad at heart

An empty mind is all I need…
A mind devoid of thoughts, memories
Everything fresh and me- emotionally rejuvenated
I want to live a good life-my way
Monotony frustrates me.

A heart sans pain is all I need

that's Me.

why?

If my life were a book, then all its pages would be black.
Of this purposeless existence, and just that, I am tired.
With my bounded horizon, I am about to suffocate.
Of pain, and the lack of a reason for it;
Of aimlessness and the dearth of any achievement;
I am in ruins.

Of un-called-for rains and suppressed tears
Of remorse,
And the lack of love and the feel of being loved
Of betrayal and things unsaid
And with none to hold a hand or to listen
I am running into chaos.

This is not a passing phase,
I know
Nor is this a shade of youth
Rather it’s me-
The person I am.
Why?

Skin like cheese

Skin like cheese
Eyes like almonds
And eyeballs that twinkle like two stars
Lips pink enough to attract many a bees…
A body like an hourglass…
Hair, long hair (I guess)
That gives respite from this heat…
And what more?
Beauty is a great seducer of men…
And so be it!

.

herez sumthin' i always wanted to share...

My childhood was spent somewhere amongst the marshy rain forests. There were tall trees everywhere. They cast a mysterious shadow on my tiny village. The fear of ghosts popping out from anywhere prevailed, all the time. Many a times, my mind goes back to those years, when my mother left me at my grandma’s mother’s place when she went out to work.
I remember going fishing with an aunty of mine. We would perch on the broken stairs of the pond, waiting for a fish to fall prey to our bait.
In the monsoons, when it rained, my world brimmed with luster. I would sit on my verandah. Look at the streams of red, and muddy waters meeting at cross roads.
And beg an uncle or someone to make me a paper-boat or two. I devoured all the joys of life that way…till then. And that was before I came to the city. Lived there like an outsider for a year or so, before it swallowed me in its never-ending expanse of humankind. But gradually city became home…

role model

In the corner of my mind where dreams are knit, dreams of ambition, dreams of distance and heights, of snow and green, dreams of love and salvation, there is a special place for this special person. I haven’t known much of you. But whatever little I have come across, I have been enchanted. I have been floored by the person you are. Your skills are like heavenly. I swear, you are the only female I ever got a crush on. I still remember how my eyes would senselessly follow your steps, wherever you went.

Though now you are not here, I am as much a fan. Hats off to you ma’am. Live long and God Bless!