in the shadow of the stars...



WARNING! LONG POST AHEAD!

Dear Adam, (Point wise would be better)

*As I saw you riding away, I don’t know why but my heart twitched in pain. This could have been because I had placed you in it as the ideal man. The only man. My Adam.

*You were all I could ask from life, the materialization of all the day dreams that my mind had mulled over since adolescence.

*No one had ever ventured into this proximity of my heart where you lived.

*When you spoke, all my senses numbed. When I stared at you, everything else about me ceased to exist but my eyes. I saw the way you said your words, distinctly, with your own fresh style. I literally drank those moments up, when you talked about fun, about life, about the movie-‘The Pursuit Of Happyness’- I gaped at the free spirit you housed.

* The way the hair on your chest showed when you left that second button open, and my mind strayed to the places where it shouldn’t have. The smartness, the over-smartness rather…I became a fanatic of everything about you.

*Things I related you with were of the kinds of fun, I always ‘pretended’ I had a crush on you…Funny! Isn’t it? Hmmm…You kept the fires of my heart burning when there was a drought everywhere around! Never had I imagined, I would be so frozen with poignance the moment I saw you leaving forever.

*When you are gone, I would always remember with glee the moments of trance that entrapped me when you were around, and my shock the moments when I discovered that you are a Bengali and when I realized that it was the last time I saw seeing you!. Also the giggles would come back to me, the giggles that had erupted when I discovered that the initials of your name are A & D and I christened you ADAM forever! La!

***I have fallen in love many times, with many men. So love comes easy to me. But I never fell in love with you. Wonder how paradoxical it is to meet Mr. Right and not succumb to the sweet pain that love is.

May be I have achieved some kind of say over the philandering whims of my heart. Some kind of equilibrium that comes only with time!

17 comments:

Abhishek Khanna said...

waow... nice one

anirudh said...

beautiful post yaa....dont have any words aother than dis...beautiful...my only word of awe..!

Dream catcher said...

first a big HI!!

Thanx for stopping by my abode even though its long been dormant..
I wld b continuing soon jst bit stuck with some personal stuff which is keeping me away from blogging..

ok enuf of this speech..

coming to this post as it happened i cldn't stop reading further after catching glimpse of first few lines..its so beautiful soaked with so much love..My god!! that person must b lucky( as i m assuming this post more than jst an illusionary dream ) ...though the point and mere beauty of ur writing is a forbidden territory for me which i have been warding off but I must say...the beauty is so much within that it has become a blissful experience for us...God bless ur feelings...God bless whoever this is for..tk :)I will b back for sure..!!!!

just being me... said...

it really ain't fair..who d hell is A.D.?
i want an intro too..

Standbymind said...

First..
I think..of all the people I ve read..people with great thoughts...wrte ups...mind..feelings...poets...and all...
It is just You..that could have written this..
I mean if this piece would have given to me for reading without telling who wrote it..
I would have known spot on!


It is beautiful...It is ( seriously I am kind of out of words)..wish I could explain in words what i am thinkin..
You said something really deep and great in last two paras...
Not fallin in love...I know what u mean...but it is a nice..warm feeling..way beyond explanation..

equlibrium?...Now thats something to ponnder on!

May be Yea!

wildflower said...

@ abhishek
seriously? thanx :)

@ anirudh
thank you...all my words of gratitude put together :P

@ dream catcher
get over the personal stuff asap!
God! Bless Moi!
God Bless Us all///
Thanks for reading IT!

@ just being me
A.D....cant get u his intro dear
m too too possessive about him...to share any further inf. :D LoL
kidding//just keep reading to get updates abt beloved A.D.

@ Aman
:) :) :)
As i have said before..i write a lot about love..but i am hell bent upon not-falling-in-love!never mind...that's the way it should be! Cheers!

Pri said...

beautifully written :)
yess time sure cant heal all wounds but sometimes, it does help attain an equilibrium...

take care!

A Liberated Soul said...

"A letter is a letter always;
I wanted to tell her...
Why warn about the length of it?
Why make points out of it?
Why no 'yours ever loving'?
Maybe it was never a letter to him.."

:-)

sathya said...

I read your column in this week sunday express, and came to your site, exceelnt writings wil check you often i like u very much

KAYLEE said...

LOVE IT HOW YOU BEEN?

wildflower said...

@ pri...
i agree..time cant HEAL... just that those wounds become a part of our existence//nothing else

@ liberated soul
hmmm...this was to make it easier for you people to grasp...to catch hold of my exact feelings may be
of cors... A.D. has better things to do than read wildflower's blog! So u r right...it was never a letter to him!

@ sathya
thanx :)

@ kaylee
m doin fine ...wassup with ya?

Nithin said...

Read your article in the Sunday Express this morning. Nicely written. :)

Matangi Mawley said...

beautifully written!

kaylee said...

Mothing much....just been dealing with Pneuemonia and Chest pains alot lately :(!

................your's entirely said...

wow didn't know women could be so explicit with their expressions

wildflower said...

thanks nithin & matangi :) :)
your comments are always welcome...

kaylee...get well asap !

....your's entirely
now i dun take that as a compliment...i can even tell you who ADam is...:P ;)

................your's entirely said...

hey sorry if u didn't like tat comment....believe me it was meant to be an appraisal....as for adam well...i don't think i wud like to know about him...i liked the post too much though..c ya