in the shadow of the stars...
WARNING! LONG POST AHEAD!
Dear Adam, (Point wise would be better)
*As I saw you riding away, I don’t know why but my heart twitched in pain. This could have been because I had placed you in it as the ideal man. The only man. My Adam.
*You were all I could ask from life, the materialization of all the day dreams that my mind had mulled over since adolescence.
*No one had ever ventured into this proximity of my heart where you lived.
*When you spoke, all my senses numbed. When I stared at you, everything else about me ceased to exist but my eyes. I saw the way you said your words, distinctly, with your own fresh style. I literally drank those moments up, when you talked about fun, about life, about the movie-‘The Pursuit Of Happyness’- I gaped at the free spirit you housed.
* The way the hair on your chest showed when you left that second button open, and my mind strayed to the places where it shouldn’t have. The smartness, the over-smartness rather…I became a fanatic of everything about you.
*Things I related you with were of the kinds of fun, I always ‘pretended’ I had a crush on you…Funny! Isn’t it? Hmmm…You kept the fires of my heart burning when there was a drought everywhere around! Never had I imagined, I would be so frozen with poignance the moment I saw you leaving forever.
*When you are gone, I would always remember with glee the moments of trance that entrapped me when you were around, and my shock the moments when I discovered that you are a Bengali and when I realized that it was the last time I saw seeing you!. Also the giggles would come back to me, the giggles that had erupted when I discovered that the initials of your name are A & D and I christened you ADAM forever! La!
***I have fallen in love many times, with many men. So love comes easy to me. But I never fell in love with you. Wonder how paradoxical it is to meet Mr. Right and not succumb to the sweet pain that love is.
May be I have achieved some kind of say over the philandering whims of my heart. Some kind of equilibrium that comes only with time!