It's time

My life is a hell lot complicated. No, it can be pretty simple. But it’s me who makes it so complicated. I am amidst horrible people. I am kinda trapped here. And every passing moment I realize their worsening standards. I meet liars, cheats. And I have begun to absolutely despise questions. So I don’t like people asking me who are above mentioned exponents I meet. Things I see, I can’t explain. Things I explain, I don’t see. This is because I have, gradually learnt what it is like to pretend. I so have to pretend, it has become a compulsion.

Am I frustrated ? Yes. Am I am lonely? Yes. Am I looking? No! Not at all… (People please take note.)

Hopelessly romantic? Almost. But excuse me, my notions about love and romance would differ from many of you. So keep all prejudice away. It’s a flame I don’t want to put off. A passion I can’t afford to lose. And no person, alive or fictitious, can ever measure up to my parameters in love. That’s the way it is and so it shall be.

Bold? Yes that I am. The way I think is definitely outlandish according to average standards. I am wild, so an outcaste.

I can talk at a stretch. But I believe that spasms of the facial muscles say more than words.

And there are times, I am so dumbfounded that I might not speak at all. I love to dig into deeper depths of solitude and silence. And this might not be apparent. But true, it is.

I know my lacunae, more than I know my strengths. I know what fails me. And I am so aware of my future, so sans glamour. How dark could it be? Would I be able to figure my own self out in that darkness?

I like to have friends that understand me. And, in fact only a few can do that. But then I cut myself off from them also. And shut myself in my room all over again.

And also, I am the centre of the universe. My universe. And I can't care any less about the rest of it. And that's the way it is...


--xh-- said...

'I am the ... it is' good attitude.. if u dont love urself, u wont b able to love anyone or anything else...
life being complicated.. it depends on your take - anything can be complex or non-complex...
dont think much about it now.. take a long walk outside to freshen up your mind...and then read some good bookes :)
Bold - yes you are, and that is something which keeps you apart and addes the value :)

maverick said...

knowing wat fails u is not lacune...tht in itself is one of the greatest strengths :)

♥bμşγ-ŵŗϊŧēŕ♥ said...

sometimes you should live for the moment and just forget bout all the fucked up stuff. and, make a better today..and a tomorrow.

d SINNER!!! said...

keep lovin urslf...

thats the only way..

and abt being bold...gud that u are takes courage ...:)

wildflower said...

@ Anoop
Thank you...U're ma counsellor!

@ maverick
yea..i agree..

@ busy-writer
Life is big time screwed up yaa...
Wish it were so easy :)

@ d sinner
Bold, at least, about the way i think :P..whether i bring them down to actions is yet another story

Amrita Sabat said...

u started off on dis lower end of d roller coaster wich ws goin underground n den u suddenly emerge out of it with full force, racing to reach d topmost point of d roller coaster ride. Roller-coasting life is fun for sure- with all ur illusions, realities and both.

Anonymous said...

hey , luks lik u jus voiced sum f ma tots , no...i aint charging u 4 plagarism.
jus dropped into say dat u r a beautiful person , de way i define beauty.
it ws amrita wh suggestd dat i take i look in here & m glad she said so.
wishin u ll goodness,

SammY said...

The reason i keep givin ya links is dat thers no other way i cud relate to THE writtten word,... Chk out the lyrics for the song 'Eyes of the beholder'... Wats ur say on dis!!!!!!

wildflower said...

@ Amrita
words is the only game i am gud @ ;)

@ Sammy
kudos to ur effort..!

SammY said...

Well,... Ok!!!!!!!!!! :)

arvind said...

in this mateialistic world - u try to seach the immaterial..


closing the door - not always help..

awake and glow beautiful..

me read - one can feel his aloneness even in a market..

come out.. there is a moon - always laughing at u - atleast for half a month.. try to learn - how she hides, how she comes out..

there are lot of spices - the kuil, sparrow, parrot, squirlls, flowers, leaves, trees, rains, sunlights - love to see ur beauty..
just come out and relate with them atleast..

be a lover - like the earth, who resolves rounding the sun all the seasons with all her desires..

SammY said...

Wat fails u??

arvind said...

where is the point of fail or pass.. win or loose..

me cant get..
what is the parameter for a pass - just any one tell..

Anonymous said...

Wild flower,

"I do not love you as if you were a salt rose, or topaz
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
So I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."
-Pablo Neruda

wildflower said...

excuse me but wildflower is one word.