Being influenced comes easy. Even now. Books, even books drive me nuts. Movies addict me. To almost a point of no return. That point of no return, where onward I begin to worship, believe in, and love, without reason. Such love, attraction and intoxication is an insult to my intelligence, shouldn't deny. And books and the like apart, you are a man.

You could a bimbo. And I could love you only for the assumptions I have of you. Without considering who you are for real. You look alright to me. Good rather. And I love your smile. God, I adore your smile. I adore it so much that it makes my inner being beam. In the few seconds your face flexes into a smile, it's like each and every bit of you is happy. Oozing with joy. In those few seconds, I wonder, how could anyone, ever impersonate such honest an emotion. Your smile is so pure, it makes me want to tell you how I feel about it. Like I said, it drives me crazy. But in a good way though.

And I should be shameless to feel anything like this about anyone. Now. After everything. It's almost embarrassing. And I wish I could get help. You could be a bimbo after all. And not the person of my dreams. Not the man I see behind the face, the gentle humility. And all that. But seriously, you're like a delicious slice of chocolate pastry. I find you too sweet to swallow because I am already floored the moment you touch the tip of my tongue. Quite non-literally.

It couldn't be the naughty teenage infatuation. It shouldn't. Because that would mean I have regressed. Or I haven't evolved. At all. But I wonder if we ever do. I still feel like that butterfly-in-my-heart seventeen year old. In the few seconds I just stand there to see you smile.

Adam. Adam Adam


Tanvi said...

avoid fagging in front of him!
CCDs still provide good substitute of smoke!

Ritika Gupta said...

@tanvi : what timing to read the post :P
@duggu : i steel feel it shud b the teenage infatuation.. fairy tale dreams r stil my fav!

wildflower said...

@Tan: Thanks, will keep that in mind the next time around <3

@Ritz: Glad to know that marriage doesn't alter that about us :)

Khudā-e-zu-l-jalāl said...

"Dil se apnaya na usne,
Gair bhi samjha nahi,
Yeh bhi ek rishta hai jisme koi rishta nahi".

Tanvi said...

ritz.. some connection we have!
:P :P i just wish my boss doesn't get to know about it ;)