catch-22



Love, which seems to be the answer, is another question by itself. You know. You are the love of my life. Yeah, you. No one else can ever become what you are to me. And all my life, till now, I have been looking for you. Desperately. Running from corner from corner. Scanning faces of strangers in empty streets. Sitting alone on solo benches in parks, watching, un-involved, the passage of sun drenched afternoons. Writing poems, heartlessly; waiting, incessantly. I have been looking for you. With the basic assumption that love is the one answer. I seek. But.

Now, that I have found you. Yeah, you. I don't know what to do anymore. With you. With myself.

This love feels different, than the one I had imagined, inside my head. Long long ago.This has rough edges, feels incomplete. With flaws.

I used to believe, that flaws are beautiful. In fact, flaws are the only beauty. Perfection is a ghost. But, somehow, I stand un-quenched. Here, now. Standing beside you, I feel like miles away. As lovelorn as then. As untouched as then.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. So, tell me. What is it that I seek.


"There is a loneliness in this world so great
that you can see it in the slow movement of
the hands of a clock.

People so tired
mutilated
either by love or no love."

- Charles Bukowski



4 comments:

Raj said...

haha. with your posts i am always in a dilemma. logical answer doon? ya philosophical. :D

but either way i am not going to be able to move you. so i will stick to non sense :)

Anonymous said...

Touched...and so it is, that which we seeek pray we do not find.

Anonymous said...

@Anon
Why see the glass half empty?
I believe that such pessimism can only turn one dark inside, and makes oneself devoid of love and the ability to love.

Anonymous said...

@Wildflower
You seek to be loved like any normal person. I feel that you have been let down so many times that the concept of true love eludes you (sorry, did not mean this in a harsh way). It takes years to find true love and even then some never do. Even harder is that all elusive love, a love that loves us back for all our shortcomings and flaws. Flaws are good Durgesh... They help make us who we are! Please keep your flaws.
.
.
I do not normally reply but there are some posts that just cry out for a response. Anyway, i hope you are keeping well. I emailed you during Diwali (guess you might have been busy).
Take care sweetness.
Be well.