One Love

All the melodrama about love happening only once leaves you as soon as you touch mid of early twenties. Or late teens was it? Pessimistic guess, but whatever. By the time a few further years pass by, you realize, that love happens as many times as you want it to.As in every time you are into something, it feels like love as long as it. Beyond which the sour taste of estrangement lasts a few months and then wears off. There is scientifically researched stuff that says it takes exactly twenty one days to get over someone. Twenty one days. Twenty one stretches of twenty four hours each. Sometimes even the minutes are grueling. It's as good as a physical pain, like I have written in some places. But despite having been the agony unc. to some of my erstwhile readers by listening to how they just cannot heal from a heartbreak (yeah, I am right there with them), I believe that convalescence is a natural reflex. We may use intoxication, meaningless sex, back to back television series, some new passion or even a new love to get past an old one.

It's true, sometimes it's impossible to be completely forget. Because at some point in life, you were so invested, it is difficult to withdraw. So you stay a little hung over with some man from the past even though it has been years, or a decent amount of time, and you've been with someone else meanwhile. And sometimes, subconsciously, you pray for their well being, health and happiness before you go sleep some night, completely aware that your prayers wouldn't make any difference to whoever. Sometimes, while ordering a dessert, you remember how much he liked this and that. And how somehow you missed out on having had more occasions for ordering that. It's crazy, the man isn't around for miles and states and even fucking continents. But yet you imagine, float away with impossible possibilities. You wonder if he still wears the cuff-links you bought him, or does he have a box to put away gifts from the past. Just like you do.

In your darkest of moments you also imagine what a future with him could have been like. Before suddenly coming back to the present and accepting the fact that you fell in love as many times as you wanted to. 

1 comment:

mansi kashyap said...

Isn't it true that we choose pain over so called happiness many times....coz we are used to it...coz somewhere we still want to be attached to that string...
honest post!