Inspite of the more than a couple of times for which you have broken my heart, and for the one gigantic time, I broke yours in the end. I don't know what I would do if you suddenly walked in through that door. On the edge opposite, I sit talking to a stranger. Would I turn to face you? I would dammit. But would I freeze? Like a mummified doll. In awe of the man I had learnt to love. One can never predict, can she. Would you still have that humor, and make me ripple, the way you did, then, when we had a horizon. A time, a corner, one wish. Unlike the futility of the present. What would I do if you walked in. With your gaunt cheek bone, the ash grey sweatshirt. What would I do? Will my legs obey and stand up. Or should my eyes ignore and look away. My heart with all her fossilized pain, what would keep her put in the thoracic cavity. Would I drop her on the floor, accidentally and scream. Will I rush to the toilet and cry. Would I say hi. Or faint, yeah that would be good. I have always imagined fainting. Should you walk in through that door.
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People who break others, are innately broken.
At least, this is what I tell myself.
I tell myself that they're looking for the crack in themselves to let the negativity pass out, and when they don't find it, they take it out on others. Thinking that'd give them peace, it makes things worse.
They're unsatisfied for having wronged.
And hence, they're bound in the chain of never ending unhappiness.
I don't know much about others, but to free oneself of this, I put in my heart completely. A lot of relations broke away, but then, what was left, was worth everything.
Very raw and chaotic, yes. But very relatable too. The confusion is so real.
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