A few weeks ago, I completed eight years of blogging. And I hadn't paused to notice it. I had forgotten. Neat excuse. But I had. Very few occasions in life call for a celebration. We are all sinking into veritable depths of monotony. And discarding the right to be special. Every day.

Once I had thought, my writing would take me places. Now I think what places, and laugh. Is it even possible to take anyone anyplace, ever. Aren't we all static, merely enjoying the illusion of motion. So much oxygen is getting us high. My writing may not move me a millimeter. My mind is fixed, frozen, glued to its labyrinthine biases, against the act of motion itself.

So yeah, amongst the shiny success of others, I may finish up a reluctant loser, a hopeless mediocre, a screaming for sympathy, self published author. Hah, yes. My glorious future, ladies, the one I had been told and coaxed to believe existed has now perished into oblivion. I am clutching thin air, in my fist.

I am not talking apocalypse. Or glass half empty. All I am saying is that life doesn't always pay off. Mostly never. And we continue to survive, as beings of angst.

Switching between phones, booking tickets, losing breath, consoling, cooking, being consoled, murmuring, driving, buying, stealing, loving, unloving, sleeping, waiting, waking up, catching breath, sighing. Writing, counting years, writing, counting years. 


Prateek said...

8 years is a long time. So much must have changed around you yet keeping the soul of the blog intact. I have been reading you for about 4-5 years now and yours is one of the most consistent and "true to content" blog. The topics, the emotions , the style and the vocab, stay so consistent that one wonders nothing ever changes.

I won't congratulate you, I would rather, Thank You !

Anonymous said...

...congratulations on 8.

N!V said...

Your words are always loaded with beauty.
I don't wish for you to get published just for the sake of you becoming famous but because I hope to read a bigger, more intense piece from you. And because I feel many others deserve to read you too.
Write a book Wildflower. Please.

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Congratulations D. As your name, how often is a Wildflower noticed by civilization, unless, of course they venture into the wild.

But then, Wildflower Will Flower :)

Keep going!
Blasphemous Aesthete

Sun Bloom said...

Your writing is always catchy. You have a way with words! Glad to be following your blog.

Anirudh 'Lallan' Choudhry said...

writing counting years, writing counting years

wildflower said...

Yeah, that.