Cake

This September I turn thirty two. The day would be forgettable, erasable. Nothing new would happen. Neither would anything fun. I stopped celebrating birthdays long ago.

But before that, I always spent the day quite wide eyed. There was once a person whom I loved, quite a bit. And he loved me too, I presume. So I imagined on my birthday, he would send me flowers. I never told him to. I mean, we are not the telling kind. I never got any flowers. But it never hurt to look over my shoulder sometimes, waiting to be surprised. In the years that followed, I never completely gave up looking over my shoulders, hoping.

Then love was eradicated from me. I mean, age sincerely cured me of the bug. And  never looked over my shoulders again. For flowers that is.

But we all love cake. I send folks cake all the time. Recently I've been sending red velvet ones. Before that I sent blueberry cheesecakes, or chocolate, of all kinds. I know some home bakers. Sometimes, I send over home baked ones, absolute French delicacies. Sometimes I even top up cakes with a long stemmed roses or a bunch of chocolates. I would want to send orchids to folks, hand picked pink and purple orchids. But can't afford them, you know, as a regular affair. Do you know how much orchids cost, those things are shitty expensive. They could burn a hole in my purse if I let them. So orchids are where I cease myself. But I set reminders and send away cakes with the other birthday paraphernalia, like it was nobody's business.

I engage in above activity because I know a cake brings joy. Particularly when sent by someone else. More so, because you didn't necessarily expect them to take out a credit card from their wallet and click seven or eight times on a webpage to order a cake for someone they care about. Because flowers when home delivered are an absolute delight. Do you know of the mild flowery fragrance home delivered roses fill living rooms with? They practically make the living room come alive. And one thing you need to feel on your birthday, with utmost importance is alive. Thus the flowers.

But I've never been sent a cake. Never flowers. Never chocolates. I am growing older and older and older yet this hope doesn't subside. Every birthday begins with a suppressed sigh and a deep cry in my chest, though I am smiling on the surface.