the other side of being me


i pray so that i can live sans fear
i write a lot, but have never written about my faith. i am a theist. i can't prove to you the existence of God, but my feet would shake if i stop believing.

i, apparently, am pretty confident.
But i have too many fears lurking within.
Honestly, so many that i go weary.
Fear of an accident that would stop life from taking its happy course, fear of my loved ones being torn away from me, fear of being hapless, fear of death..
i find it impossible to contain my fears within the walls of my heart.
And i can't admit my fears to the people around me.
Many can't spare their time and others will take me for a lunatic(which i actually am)
So i open up to someone who is always eager to listen to me..God
When i talk to God ( not always it is a one-sided conversation you see, haven't i talked about my sixth-sense earlier?) i feel as if all my fears have vanished for sometime at least.

i pray so that i can live sans fear.
Because i know that living when a fear is killing me from within is not worth it, is it?

i pray because i love you God, deeply, truly, madly.

And though i can't prove that God exists, i can't care any less about it.

May my faith in Him only grow stronger...

19 comments:

vitruvian said...

its good to see unadulterated faith...
i have some amount of trouble in believing...
i do believe...coz my life in itself has many instances which compel me to believe in a power above..
but i'm forever a skeptic...
but now we have one friend in common! ;)

Abhishek Khanna said...

good to read that.. people rarely talk opely abt faith.. u knw i have come across lots of people who say tht they dun believe in god .. but yeah the secret is they all do :)

annie said...

We so much alike…I usually have sobbing sessions with God cauz I truly believe he is all mighty and with him nothing is impossible. He will always remain my guide...

Envy said...

May be you have hollow walls and the other side listens and responds....Just kidding...

God ( or whatever you want to name it ) is a very strong belief that exist within. If I have a very strong belief that there exists another earth ...I can term that God......

Its always nice to believe too strongly in something that makes us lot more powerful than others...may be for that little time.

I offer my prayers daily too, but its not the figure that I care....its the belief. and trust me ....something that strong exists.

Ronak said...

AMEN !

Just remember him in pleasure as much in pain

anirudh said...

hmm...
god..and u...must be an intresting convo to hear..!

wildflower said...

@ sneha..
great..hope this common frnd has some gud fun stored 4 us ;)
n yeas, instances compel me to believe ..

@ abhishek
may be they do...leddem do wotevr they wanna do...lets not care for hypocrites..

@ annie..
Same pinch ..!:P

@ envy
never ever did the figure matter...it's always the faith that did---

@ ronak
Just remember him in pleasure as much in pain...(i wish i could do that:( )
Amen!

@ Anirudh
l tell u someday :D

divya said...

so beautifully written...me also started to believe in god lately :)

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

All praise to HIM!!
I am glad your faith is strong. There is nothing better than that.

Sunil said...

hey..not much idea about blogging; and not much qualified 2 comment either but gud work all d same..made up 4 nice readin..

maverick said...

@wildflower...jus visited ur blog :)...btw this is a hymn in punjabi...

Ik onkar - god is one
Satnam- his name is true
karta purakh- hes maker of the whole world
Nirbhau-He is fearless
Nirvair-He never hates anyone
Akaal Murat-He is immortal
Ajooni-He is neither born nor dies
Saibhang- He is self created
Gurprasad- Only true guru can help us to meet him...

i dont knw if it makes much sense..but then i got it frm my dad one morning as a msg...n kinda look up to it wenever i feel like :)

moimystique said...

true...can completely relate to this :) and we all need something to hold on to.

anuj said...

we all have those fears .. n we all have the faith ..

god bless ;)

Pri said...

well i can relate to this...almost every word...:)
and no matter what people say..i know il'l go on ..because i believe...:)

take care
and keep the faith!

Pri said...

sometimes find my faith dwindling but then it hardly takes a day or two to come back...
people say u r not strong enough if u pray..maybe...i still dont know whats true...but as u said i couldent care less :)

wildflower said...

@ divya & sunil
thanx :)

@ moimystique, anuj & raaji
agree with u all..may our faith stand us in good stead...

@ maverick
Special thanks to you..there is this song in rang de basanti.i always wanted to know what it means..n thanks to u, now i do...

@ pri
'people say u r not strong enough if u pray'
i know, but i cant care less..
cheers!

maverick said...

@wild flower...glad u got to knw of it..n its not a song :)..its a pretty sacred hymn :)

mate_different said...

its was just so soul touching when i read some of ur posts.. coudnt decide wt to say.. but u think awesome..!

keep that good work going...\m/
jazz

wildflower said...

Flattering~~~~!!!!