On Ruhi


These days she spends most of her time in her room.
I have hardly ever seen her downstairs.
God knows what she does in there?
For heaven's sake, is life all about writing those bloody things which no one reads?
Life is about behaving like a normal girl..helping me in the kitchen..
Life is about combing you hair, working hard, clearing competetive exams...earning money..and coming out of that rat hole she lives in!

These days she doesn't even return the calls of her friends..
When asked she says,
'Oh! I don't get to know when time slips out of my hands...
it's not my fault, but u know, I can somehow
never manage to do anything but laze around..'

You either find that soundbox in her room bursting and tearing my ear drums
But at times the music is so soft that I would have to toil that treck up the stairs to her room to find out if she is alive not in a coma.

To my 'Come down and Have lunch babay!'
There would be no respone...
I would scream'Ruhi? Ruhii?'
She would whisper 'Send it up here please'

And when I push her door open, I find her staring out of the balcony.God knows what she finds there.
I remember having argued with her father that we would never need that balcony, there is nothing worth seeing to that side of the house. There is some kind of a jungle, in summer the earth is all cracked up, in monsoon the creepers from it climb upto her room and no matter what she wouldn't let me do anything to them, not even when i threaten her that snakes would find their way up.
And now,that it is winter, the jungle is her laboratory, where she cooks up the fantasies she lives on.
When i take her breakfast up at eight, she makes me feel as if her vision can tear through that impenetrable fog.
Ruhi, can see things she wants to, she has always done that.

And again you would hear me shouting 'Ruhi, babay, Daddy is here..come down and let's have dinner..?'
Sometimes she would honor the ground floor with a visit, most of the times she would not care...

Upstairs, she would be pushed to one side of her bed like an ailing asthma patient, she would be scribbling things in her diary, staring into the dark sky.
Count stars, does she? I never asked..i never could ask.

I don't know where she will end up,i dread the consequences of her life..

May be in the way she lives, she finds the answers to her questions.
The answers that i never could find out in my own long life...

23 comments:

d SINNER!!! said...

Awesome read....well,I cant make out if its just a story or a revelation..but whatever, the psycho analysis presented is quite realistic...

in b/w-thanx for droppin by!

maverick said...

@wildflower...cool post..answers and answers is all we seek..right?? thnx for dropping by..gonna blogrol u :)

Bizarre Kid said...

You've got a nice place here and your writings are really wonderful..
Accept my bows.. And yeah this wasn't as a favor to my comment.. I genuinely liked yours.. :)
Keep visiting babes!! cya

Rashi said...

..the story was so much real..by all means, I now see Ruhi in me and then I see the Mother in me...

c-o-n-f-u-s-e-d...I stand,

Nice read !

Niva said...

beautiful read....

Smruti Ranjan said...

Obsession of reinventing, standing out in the crowd, standing still in the pandemonium, attempt to come out of run-stop-look back-run.

And most importantly, play by the new rule or no rule.But remember the need to play.

On top of everything, the post is worth a lot, thanks

................your's entirely said...

hi wildflower
hows life?
u are one hell of a beautiful writer....delve into any random person's psyche and what u wud find is numerous intriguing tales n motives...a brilliant attempt at unravelling ruhi's...

anirudh said...

wow...
ruh ke pairahan mein laakh anbandhe dhaage hain...
ruh ki aankhon ke mausam sare
uske aage hain..!

wildflower said...

@ d sinner
thanks :)

@ maverick
hmm...answers...that was quite an impulsive last line to the story

@ bizzare kid
thanks, n definitely..will go back to yr blog wheneva i can :)

@ rashi
i saw Ruhi in myself and tried to sympathise with her mother..that's about it :D. After all i dread my mother's plight had i been my actual abnormal self...

@ niva
thankss

@ smruti
ohh..thanks again for sparing me that time :P

@ your's entirely
We human beings are oh-so-complicated u knw :D

@ Anirudh
:) :)

vitruvian said...

brilliant....
quietly fading away into dysfunction...
i wonder how that must feel...
cheers!

divya said...

Right from the beginning to the end i wondered if ruhi was u...

beautiful :)

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

i suppose everyone needs their time and space...
nicely written.

Solitaire said...

Your space or depression?

relations said...

oye..ji

nyaa saal mubarak ho..

vitruvian said...

hey...wish u a very happy new year

annie said...

need ur mail id?

maverick said...

hey..how r u...happy new yr..rock on...updated my blog :)

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-A-4NQfFRs

wildflower said...

thnx :) that was a grt song!
& sumwot related to wot i wrote..

wildflower said...

@ Solitaire
Dunno why, but ma space is kinda always depressed :|

@ Divya
I aint, wish cud be..

@ Raaji
thankyu :)

Anonymous said...

ahh gr8 u liked it,.. ever c urself wanderin abt lik dat??!! dat video is jus art,.. n is ur writin,...

wildflower said...

ya, once i wondered off, and lost my way back. i loved & relished those few moments of being detached from evrythin..until i found th way back.

Friend said...

Wonderful....!! So much pain...I just couldn't stop my tears.