Raising Hope

What have I missed? A few long full moon nights.Of a big moon hanging behind solitary buildings. Long chats and aching laughter. I have missed hoping. The art of hoping. Terribly missed it. How I used to place one hope on four pillars, each another hope. Like a complicated geometrical structure, each arm of which is a hope, some random wish that longs to come true. All by itself, like an unruly child.

What that unruly child doesn't realize is an entire world of things that could negate, crush and destroy mere delicate threads of hopes.  And entangle them in a way, life could never again dare to disentagle.

So that's what has happened. Threads are entangled, knots are tied, heart beats have halted, eyes have promised never to look up at the sky making forms of clouds, stealing dreams. The art of hoping is forgotten.

Ceteris paribus is a phrase from utopia. At every fork of the road, I take the most unexpected unwanted of turns. Sometimes, I head back and return to where I had begun.

In afterthought, hoping seems to be the most ridiculous of escapes a wastrel could engage herself in.

3 comments:

Borna said...

Listen wildflower, if this is just literary , great job! But all of us who come here know it isn't. How much longer? i ask you. It has been more than a year since i first visited your blog, and it still reads the same. Listen we don't grow younger. Someday you will look back to this time and wonder why did you not live. Most certainly you have a life, i assume a very rich life, outside of your blog. But i have done this to myself too, locked up a portion of me in a blog and tortured it night and day. And now i wish i could get back that lost time. Forget about the people i could have met and friends i could have made, i regret missing so many moonrises, so many fireflies, so many indescribable wonders. And time is just flying by, the more i pared away my soul, the more calloused it has become. Now moonrises and fireflies seem so insignificant. Trust me you don't want to be there. Let go of the sadness, run for your life when it comes. It is no friend.

Raj said...

In afterthought, hoping seems to be the most ridiculous of escapes a wastrel could engage herself in.

disengage then. try. for its then you will find that you cant. even when you don't hope you are hoping that you don't.

Mansi said...

What is more important..to live or pretending to live?
People ask me to live, to feel happy, to enjoy moments, to get out of the black hole I have created...
I ask Why? Why should I pretend to be someone I am not? Why should I feign happiness when I am actually not an inch close to that?

Tired of hoping...left it long back!
I was waiting for your write-ups. Feels better now!