Off the record!

Someone once must have said. Love is the lack of it.

I have been there. On the edge of the cliff making one dying wish. To see you. To find you. To be loved by you. Cried nights. Lost breath. Gasped, ran into and away from love. Lost my way. Broke my heart. In a way that could be never unbroken. Suffered. Cursed. Written. Turned insane. You know the rest of the story.

Probably I have survived. The sin that is called love. In many ways, outgrown. Outlived. Proved wrong the ones who once said, love is all that is. Ever.

I have never felt love. But things that come very close it. More or less. Almost. And I am almost satiated. There is a dire need of strength and patience, both of which many weak at the heart lack. The have-nots of my species.

I am unfortunate. But what can we do. But what can we do. Even if we could, we are lazy and scared. Haha!

Anyway. In afterthought, seriously off the record, now that the game is finally over and I grow fatter and uglier by the day, I have called it quits. A stray picture comes before my eyes. Just a could have been. And the assurance that comes with him, is mind jolting, belief breaking. Status quo shattering.

This is it. Love it is.


5 comments:

Raj said...

And the assurance that comes with him, is mind jolting, belief breaking. Status quo shattering.


you really have grown out of it haven't you? :)

Surya Prakash V said...

hmmm.

The Rain Crab said...

You scare me.... of my may/may not be future self! yet, i love to read this! believe me... my heart pricks, in an desperate attempt to fight the sane signals that the brain sends.... while i read your blogs

A said...

"mind jolting, belief breaking. Status quo shattering."

yet you survive..that is enough.

off the record..very good writing as always :)

prateek mathur said...

I am not clear if ur moving on or still hung up after reading this...but still great work !