My love for arrogant blokes just doesn't subside.  I love the one who seems to have ways of his own. Not the subtle man of heartwarming banality. Not the man who chats with me over coffee. And asks me how I was. But he, who is beyond capture. He, who is, both incapable and undeserving of love. And is doubtlessly proud of it.

His eyes that have sure shades of grey and shine in tinted sunshine. His hair curls over his crazy head, with his own idiosyncratic callousness. His palms are cold with the lack of emotion. And I adore, just helplessly adore his inability to empathize.

It could be my complex that's fuelling my utter craving. That I believe that I am so lowly, my only salvation lies in being crushed beneath him. And I see my meagre existence being wiped off by his inability to see me. That particularly makes me happy, and become an irrevocable victim of his. Or may be I just want to be punished, the way they do in S&M.

Whatever it be. I have begun to believe that I have just had my umpteenth impossible infatuation. And with just a few days left before I turn 25, I can't fathom the silliness of this.


WomanInLove said...

Way to go :) The deserving and undeserving interchange many a times

Merlin said...

lol. quarter life crisis eh! :P

Syed Ali Hamid said...

Well, such things can happen with people more than double your age; what has age got to do with such things anyway? Once you get to the root of the problem, it becomes even more firmly fixed than otherwise.

Remember T.S.Eliot: "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?"

Tan said...

seriously!! whats the big deal in having a crush at 25! whats wrong in that.. we might have infatuation at the age of 50 also and trust me, it wld be ok!!

wildflower said...

Tan, Love you! <3

Syed, T.S. Eliot. Touche'. After such knowledge, what forgiveness?

Merlin, I had quarter life crisis when I was 15.

WomanInLove, I so wish that would never happen. But does.

chandrima said...

@ wildflower I know , exactly what you mean !