But I don't know how I got here. Can't remember a thing. Feels like waking up in a strange bed. All hung over and head-ached. Only not that much head-ached. I am fine. Sad, but manageable. Not devastated. Disgruntled, or hopeless. Or, may be I am even hopeless. But that's okay. What can we do. I am okay you know, something I never imagined I would be, without you. Don't know how or why. Memories do come back to me, but they make me happy than sad. Like I see the lanes you walked, the places you waited at, the faces you told me about. But none of that affects me with a violent gash. I just smile. Merely, smile. Sometimes my eyes fill up. Moisten. But I look down and pretend to wipe my glasses. I miss you already, and I know this won't work. Something that didn't work the first time, will never work out. It's true because there is a reason for the not working out part. In afterthought I even see and realize and understand and accept what our reason was. Is. But then in the flush of lucky second and third chances that fate threw upon us, I forgot that very reason. For one crazy moment I felt, coincidences are an act of God. Fuck the reason. But no, the bloody reason has outlived even my affection today. Now. When I look down from a midnight window and assume what you must be up to. Sigh. Feels like a violent gash though, but only sometimes.
You are the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me. However cliched and overused that may sound. I don't care. I literally have never been happier. But now look. The reason. Keeps coming back and makes us look less worthy than another try. I just can't.