there is this guy in my class. i dont even know his name for sure. it could be some name starting with s. from the very first day when i entered the class, i looked for good faces as i have always done in the past. my eyes froze with his. but somehow i tried not to let him know that i had liked it.
we all know it happens. we all know shit happens. 'so girl, wind up! enough forthe day, shirk him off your brains', i cajoled myself. my friend told me that he had talked to her the other day. now this friend of mine being very beautiful, it's generally the case of guys coming upto her and talking to her and stuff. so i sighed some relief breathing into myself...' oh! just another guy then!'
the class ended. i walked home for weekend. i plugged in my earphones. walked the road, alone in the evening. and to do away with the fatigue, i closed my eyes for a brief while while listening to one of my all time favorites.
and after a minute or two when i opened my eyes, i was aghast. 'o my god! i was thinking about him, what is this? have i gone crazy? o my god, i was supposed to be a grown up by now'
then as saturday ran out, i watched more and more of TV. read a novel half through. and sunday, i got up at noon. ran errands, changed the water in the acquarium, did all sorts of stuff, until one quiet moment i sat down with myself and flashes of his smile ran before the eyes of my mind. and it was then that i couldn't help slipping into some indulgence. ' o c'mon, it's just a face.
mind needs a face to feed upon right? nothing wrong with it if you don't fall for him...carry on!'
monday morning, when i entered class, almost automatically my eyes scanned all the faces and stopped for a second at his. and i felt a pinch at my heart when i realised that he was already looking at me. but then that was quite natural, isn't it? anyone would normally look at the door if a latecomer standing there whispers 'may i get in?' or something like that.
so there is nothing like he-liking-me or any bullshit. i walked to an empty chair straight. and it happened to be next to his. there really was not another single empty chair in the class. or if there was, it was invisible to me.
a minute later even before the first question was written on the board, he screamed some answer. and this shook off the rest of the sleep in my eyes. i get a complex from the people performing better than me. and i find it hard to accept failure.
thankfully, whatever answer that was, it was wrong. i heard him gasp in pain. so i relaxed a little, and told myself, ' what does he think of himself huh!'
but this was not to last. he was the first person to answer almost every question correctly. and this was somewhat unbelievable to me. i would not even try a question or two thinking it to be of no use. anyway he would blurt the answer out in a couple of nanoseconds.
i felt crippled and pathetic. and all the more impressed.
later, to some question, Mr. whatever was obviously the first to answer. But i came out with some answer different from his and shouted it aloud. And then he looks at me. okay, let me confess, we look at each other. our eyes meet for the first time and he smiles and says "yeah..your's is the correct one!"
when the teacher asked who had given the correct answer, he says"yes sir, the both of us."and smiles again.
'what? what did he just say?'
later wherever i go, i find him. and the fun part is that before i find him out, he already would have found me out. the day's kinda ridiculous.
in the garage, he asks me about studies in general. he asks me, not my beautiful friend! how can that be?
anyway, i never let anyone go who asks me about studies. i blurt out all my frustration almost in one long breath. and than after this all he smiles. i hold back, 'may be he would like to ask something else'.
nothing happens. we leave.
the next day, again the empty chair next to him becomes mine. and the entire class i try to concentrate and remove him completely from my peripheral range of view. i had been almost successful.
while we leave, my friend says, "the guy next to you...i guess he's got a tiny something for you."
"err...a tiny what?"
"come on, don't be an @$$. I caught him staring at you almost ten times", she giggled...!!!
And then I got home and wrote two poems f0r him.