I slid the key into the hole. Pushed the door open, like everyday, got in and shut myself from everything else.

Should I leave the lights switched on everyday when I leave at 10 am? Because when I come back home, it's somewhat late in the evening and the place is dark. And darkness, if it is the first thing I see, makes me go dizzy.

I run to the other side of the room to switch the lights on. Throw my bag on the floor. And then my shoes. I feel my toes, run my fingers in between them. Open my hair. And simply fall on the couch. I let myself sink into it. I love the depths the cushion lets me into. And then the lights go off and I'm out. Completely.

I wake up. 12:45 and still ticking!

The ache in my legs, fatigued has thinned down into something less magnanimous. I look at myself in the mirror. Black smudge around my eyes. I run my hands through my hair. Not silky anymore. That reminds me of the weekend.

After a shower, let some coffee go down the throat. Stale sandwiches of the morning would have to be my dinner.

Some music eh? I have worn all my playlists out. So switch back to good old Shakira!

Wasn't I working on a story? Stories? Yeah, scores of them in obscure folders. Waiting to be wound up from an eternity.

One look out of the window, I see the endless row of lights on the road, tiny lights, distant lights. I stretch my hands and lean on the window sill. I could just fall off.

There is this yearning to fly, batting my hands through the air. Cold and lonely air. I lean further out, even more precariously, more dangerously. Till more than half of me is in the air.

I have never been afraid of danger. I have never been afraid of heights. Of death. But now...

18 comments:

ani said...

midnight.. sitting in a window ledge on the 32nd floor and lookin down at mumbai...

fear... ahh! ~ but wat is the worst tat cud be?

--xh-- said...

it was almost like I was standing in a corner and watching you...
one of the best ramblings I have had the privilege to read....
loved the post... one of my favorite...

Abhay said...

It is when I have those 'looking out of the window' moments when questions like 'who am I', 'why am I' start to creep into the head.

been afraid of heights, but have also wanted to fly...quite a paradox :)

Niva said...

It's very powerful to be able to tell a story the way u did...

Niva said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
wildflower said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
wildflower said...

@ ani
dunt we get d feel that d worst has alredy happened/.

@ xh
thankyaaa :)

@ abhay
yea..we all house paradoxes inside ourselves...And dont we cease to exist the moment we stop asking these questions?

@ niva
mmm..well/..does work out for me sumtym.. :)

Spectator said...

great way of story telling !!!! nice read !

anirudh said...

hmmm

d gypsy! said...

one of the bests on this page... loved it... cud feel it going on..

puneet said...

death - the high cost of living. it made a good read! i am obsessed with graphic novels of late and couldn't help but visualising this piece the way neil gaiman or will eisner would.....brilliant! and thanks for you comment on my blog. hope to see you more often. cheers!

wildflower said...

@ spectator
almost like i become d story when i write it... ;)

@ anirudh
hmmm!!

@ gypsy
u loved it coz it's so much lyk us...

@ puneet
ya...feels quite lyk a movie ;)

Chocoholic said...

whoa mahn...dis is damn awesome....i COMPLETELY identify with d fear of darkness bit!
and its damn melancholy 2...wich makes 4 awesome reading!

Chocoholic said...

whoa mahn...dis is damn awesome....i COMPLETELY identify with d fear of darkness bit!
and its damn melancholy 2...wich makes 4 awesome reading!

♥bμşγ-ŵŗϊŧēŕ♥ said...

whoa, you're helluva descriptive! *bows down*

Anonymous said...

R u dis free n independent or its jus the character that u portray dis way!!!!!!

wildflower said...

while making my characters, i never lie

Anonymous said...

Makes me curious, character :),.. Nice,...