beached in tangles of flicker

To make sure none followed where you led
I used my hair to cover our tracks.
Sun set on the island of our bed
night rose
eating echoes
and we were beached there, in tangles of flicker,
candles whispering at our driftwood backs.
Your eyes above me
afraid of the promises I might keep
regretting the truth we did say
less than the lie we didn't,
I went in deep, I went in deep,
to fight the past for you.
Now we both know
sorrows are the seeds of loving.
Now we both know I will live and
I will die for this love.

~Karla Saaranen

I feel it inching closer, I feel my utopia inching closer. I do. Though I know of its weak resistance and that it wouldn't last more than a month, I want my tongue to remember utopia's taste. For solace in the days that will break into me and take my utopia away. 

Utopia is the dampening of my senses, the numbing of feeling. It is perfect isolation. Utopia is the lack of any need to communicate, to explain myself. Nothing enters, nothing leaves, and only the absolute is preserved.

And it's just great! I am almost proud of what I have done to myself.


WomanInLove said...

Utopia the absolute..when nothing is needed..cos you become the utopia.
Nice thought!

Richa said...

I would love exactly the same kind of isolation right now; nobody coming and nothing leaving.
Wonderful poem, I loved it.

Mansi said...

I blv isolation is the best thing one can do with some point of time we need this isolation...this utopia...nice post!

wildflower said...

Yeah, me too. Only I wish it could stay forever!

I wish I could say I wrote it :D

I need it always, always. Thanks!

Enchanta said...

You quoted such a beautiful verse of Karla Saaranen, I could feel my eyes welling up.

Yeah, I haven't reached utopia yet and when I do, it is mostly like a passing phase.

Indifference is amazing.

D2 said...

As much as I love this poem, the book made me think of things that were beyond me.
The best things always seem to leave us until we retrospect. And then it becomes very complicated. That's life.

@Enchanta : Karla Saaranen is a character from the book, 'Shantaram'.
This verse is written in her diary.

wildflower said...

Can understand why your eyes welled up, mine did too..and I suppose you too should read Shantaram, books help us get closer, if that is still possible :) About the volume, I guess D2 can help you with that ;)

Karla is my favorite character in the book, after Prabu of course.. I adore the sense of mysterious beauty about her, her boldness and vulnerability.

Enchanta said...

I will read the book whenever I can now that I have such persistent recommendation!

विवेक Call me Vish !! said...

very well said ....u can do one thing just hv faith ur self!!

The Sage said...

and I have become, comfortably numb...

$uch! said...

lovd d poem...

wildflower said...

I do. Effectively all I have.

And I should look up to you for so.

That's the soul of my much criticized Shantaram, this superlatively poignant poem!

Anonymous said...

I never knew I was in search of this until came across this line and realised yes this is what is needed.