Just Friends -3

I took those glances for a tantrum. Her explicit efforts to avoid me, at times behave like nothing had changed. Thought it would pass. And we would come around, to where we were before, before one accidental night happened. I tried not to be alone with her, was afraid she would ask me something I wouldn't have the answer to. I never had the answers to anything those days. Wasn't a seeker of sorts, I lived like a life had been thrown upon me from the clouds, and I could do nothing else with it but live it through. She too pretended to be like me, and may be that's why we hung out together. But she wasn't, she was only trying too hard. She had to get a thick skin of indifference to defend the dangerously sensitive person she was. I knew that, but didn't make a fuss over it because I just wanted to keep her with me. I was teaching her stoicism, but an accidental night came our way.

I hadn't returned the shoes she had forgotten at my place the morning after. She had walked out in haste with a pair of my slippers instead, and it was only after I found them missing, I traced her shoes flung under my bed. Did she want them back? Because those slippers were the only pair I had. I couldn't ask, she couldn't tell. A week ago, we were friends, who could talk about any damn thing. And we literally sunk our minds into each other, we were like this one siamese soul, trading notions till we reached a mental orgasm. That some things would alter so irreversibly, I hadn't quite calculated.

She would often repeat her ideas to me, many times over. I mistook those to be the principles of her life. I had no idea that she told them to me again and again, because she herself wanted to believe in them. Funny, isn't it. And from those mindless babblings of hers, I had made a strict mental note. That she felt no relationship could go from physical to emotional, only vice versa. Had I doubted her, I could have asked her if she wanted her shoes back! And some other things too. I didn't. Couldn't.

Just Friends-2
Just Friends-1


Raj said...

Wasn't a seeker of sorts, I lived like a life had been thrown upon me from the clouds, and I could do nothing else with it but live it through.

Surya Prakash V said...

I could never seperate my emotions from my body. Never; but I never believed I was emotional, for the body was too personal an entity. Never to burden another soul by its weight but me. Until the fateful night, when I split to two; I left my body, carried back my emotions.

Mature; do you draw your stories from the curtains.

Soumya said...

Relationships can go from physical to emotional. How long do they last is the question.

wildflower said...

Yeah! Bits of you in him, do you see!

Mature; but what's that got to do with curtains :) My mind and my body ally with each other against me, only on special occasions. Rest of the time, my mind is like floating above my body, like a distinct third party.

Who can tell fate? What starts an emotional relationship, almost always has a hidden physical motive. We're all looking for the person to whom we could be bound by both love and lust.

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

What about now? What came to pass in that one week that you distanced her?

Surya Prakash V said...

Wi; There is perhaps no literature without symbols; what can people experience that is absolutely unique to them? emotions, pain? nothing! so yes we are all united in a way.

Yet its the expression that seems to change how others look at our experience; and symbols are short forms of multiple interpretations.

Curtains are what we always draw; they seem to offer freedom to anyone who steps behind them isnt it? The seem to hide; they seem to hide so that we can show; they seem to eves drop; they seem to partially hide a naked truth; them seem to show the end of an act; they seem to conceal before the beginning of the first act; isnt it? You perpetually eves drop on your life and others; Others that are imaginary; those that stand behind the drapes. Your floating mind explains it though :)

Anyhow since you seem to love literature; thought you might like a reference to scarlett-letter; curtains!

PS - your interpretation of Heathcliff/WH (you missed symbolism in it) is quite incomplete, but that is for another day; you started though ;)

PPS - Mature was a compliment; rest that followed was not related to it - it was a question missing the mark ;)