Stage two

What is wrong with mid January rain. When all these past months, all I have craved was rain. Why does it suddenly feel less wanted that it has finally begun falling. In bulbous drops. On leaves coated with dust. And on thirsty highways.Why do I not want rain now that I have it. Here, with me. And how involuntary could wishing be.

It's just the same, probably, with wanting a man and having him, by your side. It's that mundane stage two. When the first impressions have worn off. Not in entirety though, the mild breeze of desire whizzes by, sometimes. After he has gone to sleep and his eyes are so peacefully shut that my dreams could rest on his lashes. But when he is awake, you feel a certain texture of reality, previously un-felt, that is disturbing and consoling almost in the same breath.

You realize, that there is indeed a quintessential guy under this man of dreams. Just the average one. Who has his usual set of jokes. Which he repeats when he's not so sober, and you let him finish uninterrupted nevertheless. Because sometimes you think it's cute. But mostly you just think, this is him. And he's no superman.

Also, on another day of stage two, lackluster loses another shade of love. When you agree he never was as rich as you thought. And you begin drawing the upper limit. Your upper limit and his. Lines you would never go beyond, or rise above.

And on a day not much long after the previous, you understand how he could hurt you. Not by not loving you. But by being very much being in love, and yet pulling the wrong strings. Tighter. And you have that slight whiff of a suspicion, that he just doesn't get you.

Yet, nomatterwhat. On that last day of stage two, you thank your stars for having him for the man he is. And also for all the love. That had never felt as real as this.

Amen!

5 comments:

Surya Prakash V said...

Anonymous wrote:
Nice! Perceptive and economy of expression. Finely nuanced.

The familiar cynic wrote:
When every inch of the body is known; when every breath of heartbeat measured; every maneuver of the mind familiar. You voice your irritation and love, in the same breath.

The obviousness seems familiar. Familiarity breeds.

Anonymous said...

Oh My pretty lady!
u have this ability to start with something and end with something totally different... just like day one of stage two and last day of stage 2.. and yet keeping us all tied with it...
n it just feels like our stage 2.. that which started by being so close yet not knowing anything about each other but the name.. and that too u were the proud owner of one such beautiful one!!
and then as days turned into weeks and weeks into months.. time brought us to the point me waking you up every morning. and it was such a pleasure obviously!
and being with each other through everything.. through the happiness of those unbelievable moments to the sadness of another... fighting the world and then just laughing it off with the anonymity.. n it was just stage two...

Ritika Gupta said...

beautifully put duggu.. u too tanvi :)

Tan said...

bitch!~ u kno everything~!! huh...

Krish said...

Does anyone ever get us? Do we get ourselves? No wonder, every stage 1 comes with a stage 2, as we discover a new shade about ourselves more than the other.