About not being in love

and about being twenty...


I like being empty hearted. When there is no one whose name my heart murmurs every now and then, when there is nobody whose thoughts irk my mind all the time. I like being empty hearted. I am at peace when I am not in love. At peace with my internal complexities, and the complex world around me. The equilibrium that I have always tried to find, looks closer and more achievable.

When I am not in love, I am more unbiased about things in life. Where as when in love, it is my biggest preoccupation and never stops kidding around with my subconscious. It affects my perception of things, adding another pinch of melancholy to my already melancholic existence. When in love with somebody, the dearth of that person hurts so much that it is tough for me to get out of the solitary ordeal that I undergo, and sense some normalcy in life. There is a perennial heartache, which I want to come out of, because getting myself rid of love, looks anything but impossible and sinking deeper and deeper into it looks inevitable. The act of unloving apparently lies beyond the last blue mountain…

Being able to feel the sorrow of people is my forte. And being in love takes this elite trait of mine away from me. Love spoils me, wastes me, makes me a good-for-nothing fellow, a melancholic dumb fool, living in another world of which no one knows, and nor do I…love kills me…slowly, so that I can relish every bit of the pain, that I love and loss are endowed with.

Touch Wood! I am not in love. And may it be this way forever…God Bless me…Happy Birth Day To ME…And I am TWENTy~~~~~~

59 comments:

shubha said...

i just joined the twenty club too...and i can tell you...that being empty hearted's ok...but being in love, now that your twenty, will be a totally different experience from wat twas earlier... dint mean to lecture tou... oops! =) =)

kaylee said...

AWWW NICE POST

anirudh said...

happy bday yaa...n yeah..you are 'not' in love eh..!

Amrita Sabat said...

hey happy b'de 2 u yar! & welcom 2 d early twenties' club......:)

well......best of luck 2 u as far as ur endeavours of nt bein in lov are concerned....:)

best of luck 2 u for nt 'falling' in lov agen....;P

Smruti Ranjan said...

My Birthday wishes to U!!

Being not in love, though is an state of equilibrium.But I must say its quasi-static, means one never stays in the same state, and transit further to achieve next level of equilibrium.[:)]

U should never ever lose your forte, transit to the next equilibrium state.

wildflower said...

@ shubha
Let's hope so...but i don't want love to happen to me, i wouldn't be blogging that way :D

@ kaylee
Seriously? :D
Kidding kidding...tanx :)

@ anirudh
And so be it...i can analyse life better when 'not' in love

@ amrita
jokes apart, i seriously want all those wishes to come true :D

@ Smruti
Let's make things simple...alredy u made this comment too comple. Pity the DULL me rey :D

Krishna said...

happy birthday!! and u gave words to my feelings again :)

Anonymous said...

would love to chat with you some time you post touched me.my emaii id is galnxtdr2000@yahoo.co.in would you add me??thanks!

wildflower said...

@ krishna
thanx..never knew i could give words to someone's feelings..feels great !

@ anonymous
sry, i dun use yahoo..will mail ya for sure :)

soumya mukerji said...

Beautiful... I agree... becuz in such a such a state, even being 'empty-hearted' means being full of other wonderful things :)

wildflower said...

being full of 'other' wonderful things..other as in? things wonderful, other than love?...yeah...

Envy said...

Outta Teens.....tons of happy returns.....

Anonymous said...

i didnt know dat u were such a gud writer........keep it up....guess who i am...though i cant write at par with you but i can show some flashes of brilliance.....

Anwayz do u know the full form of life......
think and tell..
do u know what i think
Little Interesting and Funfilled Experience
so what do u think?

























































A hint---sometimes things dont happen but you have to make them happen........

wildflower said...

Anonymous...
i wud like to know u...ans see ur flashes of brilliance..!

Anonymous said...

hey u didnt reply my ques...i want you to come up with a fullform for life.......better than mine.....
anywayz you know me already so derz no need to know me.......!
keep replyin..

wildflower said...

LIFE~
i fail to put down in a mere 4 words something as vast as this...i have a tendency to prolong things...and i jjust cant shorten them up :)
but for u...i l come up wid something gud enuf soon...

thinking is not active in ma case..its rather passive...things just settle down on ma mind like dust settles down on furniture.. so when i TRY and think about sumthing the product isnt as interesting as it wud have been had it come down passively! so i l let the full form of life strike me unawares...n that's y it l take time... :)

meanwhile..u keep replyin

wildflower said...

and as far as ur hint goes---sometimes things dont happen but you have to make them happen........

nmmm...hmmm..lemme guess... !!!

Anonymous said...

what u r sayin iz absolutely right..even i didnt think of it in a day it just came naturally 2 me.......
anyway if u find out who i am u will get a treat.......
<...another hint...>

till then just call me anonymous

wildflower said...

u knw i was thinkin i had alredy guessed who u are...but the question of the treat is taking ma mind to unchartered waters all over again....if i had a treat pending frm ya in any case..then Ms/Mr. Anonymous..show up...time u gave it to me..!

Anonymous said...

i never said a treat is pending i just said that i will giv u a treat if u could find me...moreover why are u guessing why dont u use ur gray cells n find me...i know u can...do things da engineer's way and nt frm a layman point f view.......
@nonYmou$

wildflower said...

hey @nonYmou$
gimme a serious hinT or two...or else be ready for a consequence or two :P

wildflower said...

& by da way...
i always wished i had gray cells...:( i dun have any ..so ur suggestion stands useless...!
i just had a heart i cud make no use of ..lol

Anonymous said...

oh common we all know u hav gray cells...disz ur modesty dat u dont accept...and i have given a lot f hints...as far as i know u ..u shd hav found me ....but hey what has happened 2 u...u seem 2 doin a wild goose chase...

wildflower said...

this is fun...We're almost chatting now...!!! ahan anonymouS

most often its me who blindfolds people wid her anonymity...n takes them for a ride n stuff...what's happenin to moi :( :D

@nonYmou$ said...

so is it lyk u r losing and acceptin defeat........
i mean u r nt able to find me.......
common....wild flower......it seems this flower has always been in the garden and never been to an forest in da wild........

wildflower said...

remember @nonYmou$
i hold da strings/// at the end of the day... :) :)










hope u gat dat r8!

Anonymous said...

it seems u got a bit serious.....i am doin dis fr fun.......
common find me..

wildflower said...

sumtYms...i can't take humor in d ri8 sense... :D



N-E-V-A-M-I-N-D!

Anonymous said...

I assume 'I' is ur fav word,.. :) ,.. chk out 'Sad But true',... u r 1 wild writer!!!!!

wildflower said...

No it is not/& i wont check it out unless u accept ths :D

Anonymous said...

haha ok i accept so dat u ll check it out n say 'I' is indeed the most imp word!!!!!!!!!!!!

wildflower said...

havin a name is js fine..y do u choose to stay anonymous? :O

SammY said...

:) U can cal me Sam,... The one whus s sendin u links n stuff!!!!!!!

SammY said...

Curious!!! wats ur fav piece of writin by U??!!!

wildflower said...

Sam..u cant ask me that..all my posts are me and that makes "I" ma fav word ;D

SammY said...

'I' used to be ma fav word,... :) N i write only wen am messed up n dis makes me curious on ur writin!!!!!!!!!!

wildflower said...

wots so worthy of ur curiosity Sam?

SammY said...

WOndering Wat U R :),.. i mean,.. is it u or ur jus tunin in ur mind to get into ppls head,.. i dono words are jus wild!!!!!!

wildflower said...

wooh~! sum1's doin a lot of thinkin here..may be i am made to puzzle ppl?

SammY said...

haha i really hope u keep doin dis work!!!!!!! i don read a lot,.. jus came across ur stuff,.. n am here :0,.. i think if u make ppl relate to wat u wrte dats the best thing the writen word s supposed to do!!!!

wildflower said...

thankyu..i dont write for people though, i write exclusively for myself :)

SammY said...

Ahhh dat hurts!!! lol

SammY said...

Neways,.. nice talkin,... U Tc,.. Gud nyt!!!! (no post) :)

wildflower said...

Sad but True :P

SammY said...

Ahhh i got my own medicine back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wildflower said...

LoL..! doesn hurt as much does it :P

SammY said...

Naaa not at at all!!!!!!! i've tasted it many a times :),. ok chk dis out as well,.
http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Bad-Seed-lyrics-Metallica/4FA7183A4836D30B4825688D00351553
is it ok i keep sendin u links?? i mean i thot since u write such stuff u ll lik thse!!!

wildflower said...

most welcome :-)

SammY said...

:)

SammY said...

ok opinion on my so called blog???!!! my 1 time attempt wit words,...

wildflower said...

u're good..candid writer must say..

have js begun..way to go..

Happy Jurney :)

SammY said...

Expert opinion ll say :) tnx

arvind said...

r u nvr try playfulness in love?
just playfulness..
just go out in a room..
read n share lot with him..
enjoy a song with him..
just have a eat out by stopping ur mind..

just play ful..

its a fun..

arvind said...

just be playful - like a moon..
present her only once in a month..
then a lot of hide n seek..
29.03.10 - she may present her in full..

SammY said...

Hw u been??!! Wildflower :0

sarah0815 said...

haha...i just told my story of addictedly being in love and not being able to get over it...hate that..i just wish...

arvind said...

@sarah: r u want to say gals r alike?

D2 said...

Rather pessimistic thought, don't you think? I think it's a great feeling, though it's as bad as death when it doesn't work out. I guess it's obviously weird to deal with life when one moment your whole life almost revolves around a single person and the next leaves you at a loss of what to do.

Moiiiiiieow said...

i'm so late to the party but agree wholeheartedly