Walks To Remember-1 is here
This Saturday, I reached a little late than usual. Within myself, there was a big fight going on, should I go, or shouldn’t I?
I did go, only half an hour late. A part of me was relieved not to find him there. I just couldn’t get myself to concentrate. Basically I go to the temple every Saturday, to talk to God. People chill out with their buddies; I unwind in the company of God.
But do I need to mention I was disappointed? Yeah, I was!
Why do I do this again and again? Why can’t I teach myself a simple thing? Why can’t I be self-sufficient? Why do I expect things from people? And all this after the stone hearted men never cared to look back? Why?
As I was leaving I found myself smiling. At someone who had a bigger smile stuck on his face…
‘I thought you wouldn’t come’, he began.
‘Naa, I just got screwed up in the hostel, something turned up in the last moment’
‘Mmmm…. all the hostel responsibilities are thrust upon thy frail shoulders!’
I looked up at him…and raised eyebrows must have told him why-do-you-care-&-you-think-I-am-frail-huh?
When will my ‘stay-away’ attitude bid me adieu, oh! Man!
And we began walking. This time, he didn’t find it necessary to ask whether he could accompany me or not! Took me for granted I guess.
He talked a lot this time. I am someone very much in love with herself. I can never have anytime for someone outside my world. So I never was a patient listener. I call myself very selfish that way. But as he talked, I realized, that an interest rose from some place I never knew existed. I wanted to know more about everything about him. I tried to ward him off my mind, by telling myself ‘I have too many issues in my head, to look into yours, Excuse me!’ But I couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried. And, I did try pretty hard. I always try hard not to fall.
‘So you ‘got yourself rid of your deeds huh?’
I looked at him, and smiled. He grinned. He was no ways perfect, I realized, but nice he was in every possible way…
Again I was walking as if I was I had lost my toes; I realized my face muscles were static. But there was some movement happening within. I was elated. I tried to find out, whether it was for those much craved for evening walks coming true, or for the company of this person.
It was not the first time with me, that I meet some person and I cannot stop thinking about him, so I tried to push him away. And then it occurred that he had stopped talking from quite some time, there was a fearful silence between us. And the road was lonely.
The trees bent down to see what was cooking between the two of us, and then all of a sudden, darkness flew in. I went pale…all the streetlights went off…and I forgot which way I was walking. In a situation as this I always call out, “Mummy!!!” and I did it then also. For a moment I wanted to cry.
Then I could feel his fingers around my wrist, he lead me back home.