sleep is a prostitute

sleep is a prostitute. right now i am unhappy, disgruntled, frustrated. so she wont come to me. i try to drug myself to sleep. i work, pushing limits. i try to think of things less tragic. but she wont come to me tonight.
right now, i am sinking. i am very sad. i am trying. still i am failing. i am losing sleep over it. i am losing. i am failing. i am too shocked to realize the shock. i can't afford a smile. i walked myself to a lonely corner where noone was looking and tried to cry, tried to get the lump that was choking my chest off it. but i cudn't help it. i cudn't help anything. i cudn't help myself. i am too shocked. i can't take this. because i can't believe this. because i don't take this.
the worst happens when you don't get what life is trying to convey. and right now i am so puzzled to perceive what life is trying to convey through all that happened today. i wont ever be able to forget today. i hate today.
and i am still not getting sleep. and i can't cry either. i don't have anyone to share this with. tell me, could it get worse? tell me could it get beyond this?


MothSmokeLover said...

I can so relate to this. I've been going through something like this as well.

This is what I wrote a few days back.

P.s. Nice blog. Will be coming back soon. :)

Subbu said...

this'll pass dear.. and yes there cud always be another day worse than this.. but who cares.. u'll always get out of it to have some really lovely days.. cheer up n tc:)

academically impaired said...

u r right gal,

sleep is a prostitute,
unfortunately there is no credible pimp....

ps : reading b.l thareja works for me, by the time i'm past 7 pages of load losses u can bet i'm out..

pps : i hope u've not sold that book :) give it a shot

SV said...

Hey ....

You will come out a better person ... Cheer up ..

wildflower said...

@ Jal Pari
since you hv been thru this..we know..we know to wht extent it cn be totlly paralysin ..i read ur post, it ws like a reflection of this one..

@ Subbu
yeah..Failure helps you look @ life from a broader perspective..

@ lucky
n i wish it hd one such guy..if u find temme ;) abt thareja..m sure that cant drug me when all my system is paralyzed !

@ wencatrawman
precisely tht is wht it is doing to me .. i seriously hope i become a better person..more hardened by life & fate..

sensiblenisha said...

exactly,I so envy people who go into deep slumber the minute they hit the sack...but for us...4 hrs,5 hrs lying in dark and yet no avail.Sleep won't come.