I don't have an idea. I seriously can't keep track of things. And I am pretty sure I can't do anything about my pre-occupation. I am like always thinking of somethingelse, talking to some non-existent entity, in a distant universe.

How long can I survive this world while I live in another? Till sometime back I had managed to pull myself through with the excuse of being different. But that doesn't look possible naymore. My tricks are failing me. My alibi doesn't shield me naymore. And I wonder..

My life has been moderately okayish. Except a couple of them, I haven't kept many qualms. I have grown up like a person inside a person, pretty much in isolation.

There aren't any externalities in my life. I have created a shell around, and I am very cosy inside it. Almost always asleep. So when in *this* world people call my name, I am always shaken out of sleep. Can I afford this? I wonder..

I have had this hopelesslyromantic love affair with the written word. I am madly passionate about sorrow. Solitude turns me on. I am at peace with a slower pace. I have always*always had it mY own way. And now change looks like the last thing in the universe (yours and mine) that we can bring about. I don't have the slightest idea about how to revert to mundanity..

So nor will I..


A said...

"Till sometime back I had managed to pull myself through with the excuse of being different"... insightful...

prajna said...

what 2 say yaar......awesome...

Ketan said...


Possibly, you've seen all that is to be seen in the external world, so it doesn't engage your interest. You know the familiarity-breeds-contempt-thing. Happens with aging or learning 'life' too fast. And after certain point, apathy reaches such high levels that even holding the world in contempt also seems quite an effort. But did you mention, you've always been like this? Born genius! :P

Take care.

academically impaired said...

when alibis seem 2 fail ,
when reasons are so frail,
beware gal !!
you got a "mother of all crushes"
n i'm afraid that may nudge you towards hell :)

btw lovely piece n nicely put together.. especially the part where a person inside person is involved

Anonymous said...

While reading this post, I felt as if you've writen about my inner feelings. Nicely expressed! :)

wildflower said...

@ A
yeah..being insightful is a part of the problem ..

@ prajna
:) thnkyu thnkyu..

@ Ketan
unhuh! long tym i heard tht.. :D

@ Lucky
Nothin lasts Lucky ;)
The same applies to this ..

@ Black~
Thankyu..this is all i cud ask for :)

Harsha said...