panacea?



everytime i get this close to finding you, you vanish. is this some kind of game? does this have a consequence? and does the consequence by any chance decide my life? why is my patience being put to test again and again? i can't keep doing this, you know. i am tired. very sick. i can't do this anymore. seriously, don't blame me, but i am giving up. you don't know a bloody thing. you don't know what it feels to let your beloved's hand slip out of yours. this thing is emotionally paralyzing. the repetitiveness makes it incurably fatal. yeah. don't blame me. it has never been worth it. why does my quest have to end in disappointment? i don't care if my journey finds its destination or not, i want to end it now and here. this chapter needs to close, forever. because, far more important ones are waiting to begin. they need my mind too. the way i have coddled you, i regret it honey, i really do. i promise to never repeat it, but everytime you spare me a moment, i can't help myself. let me make it a point that this betrayal was the last and final. no more of this, is welcome. i need to find my fuel for life elsewhere. and you better,


fuck off!


18 comments:

arvind said...

wild.. the other easily find other ways - as they are skin deep.. nvr know how the heart pump and spray over the head - on the deception - is no body's guess.. that is more paining than a Good Friday.. the nails are pierced in to us - many times even - jesus could not bear..

just wait and the thing may be normal (within u!!)

if u serious in ur attempt to write ur own feelings - then take this words of my feeling..

what ever described by u - is absolutely fantastic..

aria said...

the intensity of emotions in your words overwhelms.. loved the last line..

ayan said...

hey , about this particular post, i won't comment... been following your blog for sometime now, and i guess i really like how you put your thoughts into words, but just that i'm not really convinced that this translation is absolutely pure, sometimes... but, great stuff :)

wildflower said...

@ arvind
i hope i got it?

@ aria
thnx..

@ ayan
trust me, i can put my emotions down in words with an unmatched exactitude :)

Vaga Bond said...

when you have reached to a point where you know you want something to stop, hold on to that feeling, don't let it slip away in another weak moment. Trust me it pays off in more ways than you would know now.
Sorry for just blasting off with my opinions, but i have been at that exact point in life, i know it only too well.

The Rain Crab said...

I could relate one episode of my life with the emotions that you have penned down!

I wish i could give up like you!

arvind said...

@rain - nvr given up the giving..
just give - what ever the state..
the point is - dont expect anything out of it (that too an expectation!) but grew that attitude..

what ever u do - me nr mind.. but this is me..

@wild - me read twice.. but the end might jerk off!

Nipun said...

Outburst of emotions..
Lovely work..
First time here..:)
Loved it.
Cheers

Nuts

The Rain Crab said...

@Arvind ji: Will try to follow (though its difficult not to expect) :)

wildflower said...

@ Borna
:) i knw.. but m jus 2 tired of recurring disappointments..

@ Rain
don't give up, be patient, life will smile back at you..

@ Nuts
love ya name :)

@ arvind
??

Boobesh said...

Come on lady u cant let someone control yr heart & mind.u r the lady of power. go back and live life like this. http://wildflower-wilflower.blogspot.com/2010/03/joinin-dots.html
i think jus by reading this post will give u lot of courage to go ahead with yr decision. Happy Power. :)

$uch! said...

xactly u better f*** off :P

Vaga Bond said...

Just in case you misunderstood me, I meant hold on to the feeling of letting go :).
As you quite simply put it, there is lot more that deserves your attention (not to mention your talent)

laughingwolf said...

well said... right to the point with no punches held back!

wildflower said...

@ Boobesh
smtyms it's difficult to believe smthin i myself have written..

@ Borna
:) ..taking forward my obsession with names, wot does urs mean?

@ S
u will have to stick to that stmnt now ;)

@ laughing wolf
thnkee!

SammY said...

I Enjoyed the Last Sentence!!!!!!
@ Arvind - This is not my place to ask, but wt*??!!! U must be either really too gud @words or Wow i don get a thing u sayin!!!!!

arvind said...

@sammy - me said the last sentence..

SammY said...

Well said!!!!!!!!!