What's with virginity anyway? Why is it that big a deal? Why is sex tabooed? Why is the the truth censored? Why do we not talk? No wonder we have perverts running on the streets. Perverts, right amongst us.

Why is the excuse of culture brought up everytime we sit down to discuss the real issues, everytime we try to adapt to the times, to become more real human beings? Why do we live inside the closet? Why do we banish the ones who speak their mind?

Culture is not what was, nor what its self proclaimed keepers claim it to be. Culture is what is becoming of us.

Why can't sex be just dismissed as just another need of the body and/or mind? What is the big deal?

Did the IIT R student community plead guilty and apologize, I do not stay updated enough, but apparently they did. But why? Why are such undeserving issues blown out of proportion by a grossly irresponsible media? They are consenting adults, intelligent enough obviously, they could make whatever they want out of their lives. Why should they be banished for doing so? Why are they being judged? Is it just because they did it out in the open? Huh!

Here, we have co-ed hostels. Who knows what happens behind closed doors. Rather, we all do! But no way is this being blown out of proportion. It's someone's personal life, and we the people, do not have a say in it. Absolutely not any.

So what's the difference between the two instances? The former happened out in the open and the latter behind closed doors. Is that the big deal? That we can't be more open-minded? Did our culture prohibit us from becoming so? Why are we such parochial a society? Why the hoopla over this trivial an issue? Gimme a Break!


Sumit said...

the media just exploits a story! being a B-school does teach you one lesson.. media is just not to be believed on its face! a story might just be a paid PR!

$uch! said...

Civilization is the process of setting man free from men
Ayn Rand

Anurag said...


once in my tenth std, our history teacher gave us a speech "we Indians are too sentimental at social issues". it takes just a line from the news channel to ignite the anger among the people.
no matter how much we advance with each year this topic will still remain a taboo in our society.

Surya Prakash V said...

Shhhhh ... Speak not .... Stay still ..... The culture, so fragile, the gaurdians are speaking .... Shhhh

Chandrika said...

Hey, just read up few posts here. Your writing style is ineffably impressive. :)

I am your fan! :)

The Sage said...

dunno what happened at IIT-R but i guess i know the drift...
i was born and brought up in a univ. where for the last three years or so, they have declared the part of the road containing girls' hostels an out of bounds area from 8pm to 7am..

and the more we take such c$@p, the more is dished out.. so the only way out is to ask for a recourse to our rights... when you are gentle but firm in dealing with people, most of the times it works...

aria said...

we too had a co-hab hostel back in Univ and even in the regular ones everyone knew whatever happened behind the doors..
this virginity crap is sucha put off... we Indians are such hypocrites sometimes.. some of these ppl creating hoopla should simply go get laid..

wildflower said...

Yup, now that money can buy just about anything!

I love you for writing this, you're awesome! Being this awesome is what you're good at..

someday, we should outgrow..

LoL :P

wildflower said...

Flattered, though I don't like much feeling flattered, but thanks!

When you deny something obvious to people, they can only get more desperate.

Hypocrisy argh! :|

Sneha Balraj said...

Wildflower, I completely agree with you and oppose this "blowing out of proportion" thing. But I am against a few comments posted here.

Hypocrites? Yeah we are! But sex isn't a tabboo,it's something that has to be handled in an acceptable way. I would definitely whisper about it rather than shout,"Hey! You had sex last night?Me too!"

I know I am talking crazy for a generation that is heavily dosed on Desperate Housewives(He can't satisfy me, so I can go f**k someone else! That's so practical! Ya rite!) and Sex and the City and which of course feels that talking about sex loudly shows broad mindedness, asking for a condom on top of the lung is fashionable and and repeating "Fuck!" and "Dick!" every other sentence tells how cool and culturally advanced he is as he is so comfortable blabbering slangs but hey, whatever it is, it's our culture we are talking about dood!
If you are growing and nurturing a culture, I am fine with it. If you are borrowing it from somewhere else, then it's wrong. No youngster in India actually learns about sex, or nor goes through a proper sex education program. Switch on the TV and Hello America/Europe/Trash! We are simply borrowing it. And whatever slangs/open-mindedness/"freaked out modernity syndrome" most of us display, it's all borrowed, we are just copy cats.
Indian culture never said sex is a tabboo but sporting it publicly, yes! It's just our distorted minds and our thinking that the "nexgen is practical" that screws up everything! We are a confused lot!
And if you judge the "advancement" of a civilization judging by how it treats sex then let's look into this-when the world was still discovering foreplay an Indian had written an entire book on that taboo!Beat that!
And what happens behind the doors is always a hoopla yaar! Where does culture come into picture? Every so called "broad minded" loves to know what's happened behind the doors! And media knows it! And on a personal opinion I would definitely want my sons and daughters to take sex and virginity as a big deal! I'll get a heart attack if my teenage daughter comes and says, "Come on Ma! I had sex! So what that I lost my virginity!I was going to lose it anyways! It's a bodily hunger!I just felt hungry and had a nibble!Your daughter's just fine! What's the big deal!!!" Am fine with the occasional "McDonald's awesome and Pizza kicks Paratha's ass!" but let's stay Indian at least for few things! Nevamind! If I said too much, then blame it on the profession I am pursuing! :-D

wildflower said...

I haven't talked about underage sex, I have mentioned only about 'consenting-adults'. I respect Indian culture and values as much as an Indian should. But I would appreciate it if people let me perceive it the way I deem right and I wouldn't take anything that is imposed on me, blame it on my education.

Broad-minded is not about being fine with your kid daughter having sex, it's about listening to the likes of Arundhanti Roy for what they say instead of blaming them for sedition. Being broad-minded is about evolving, adapting, becoming a more responsive people.

And I definitely wasn't hinting an aping of Western culture, despite being a Desperate Housewives fanatic. US of A has a hell lot of problems of its, just like we do. Nor was I encouraging usage of slangs, though I use them myself and I am crazy about Californication.

Also, Vatsayana must have done one hell of a job, but from that day till today, I believe that this country has screwed it up bad.

D2 said...

Unfortunately, in a country like ours, where people still staunchly believe in the bygone culture that used to be or simply pretend to, this issue will take a while to become a non-issue!

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Culture means evolution.

But in some cases, we just keep on winding delicate fibres around the same old cocoons and taboos.
I don't know how a butterfly could possibly emerge out of it, if it were to be strangled in the same cocoon made to nurture it.
Society has to grow up. And think like grown ups, they just pretend to be mature, and don't even behave like a child, leave apart mature society.

obssesor said...

Sex and everything related to it is hugely over rated!

Anonymous said...

yeah...sex and everything related to it is hugely over-rated,except this basic need is so powerful,that it sucks everbody in...nobody should condemn sex,because that makes it an issue...that's alright....but even these live in relationships are loose take on life...all your precious youth you spend doing little else than satisfying this need...had it been really no uissue for any body,they would have transcended it and become livelier,more innocent and full human beings(yes,that is what we are born for...to be comfletely and unerringly a beautiful,whole human being....)

Anonymous said...

of course the media is trash at times....but people who centre their lives wasting it on relationships centred around sex maybe are not THAT correct..I wonder...

wildflower said...

Strong opinions you have, it's affordable when you're Anonymous!

arvind said...

culture and society?
ok.. coooooool..

just don't mind it..
that's enough..

just have the contact of that widow g/f thro a distant sis.. the dialgue may win national award.. "who is he?"

my sister wants me to talk to her and me denying.. if me talk - the minimum words of me are: "marry me.."

culture and society - "who is he?"