The degree of involvement between two people varies, on a case to case basis. You couldn't tell a more involved couple from a less involved one. Or could you? These things are sometimes very vague. Also, defining right from wrong is none of my business. But sometimes, what I behold is so outrageous that I wish I could make the right from the wrong.
I ain't angry. Adultery isn't punishable by death. Neither should it be. But is that why it is so rampant? What is it that makes it so difficult for people to love the one they love. The one. What is the impossibility that distance brings along with it? Why is cheating on your boy/girlfriend so easy? So much so that it hurts my eyes. Is it love only in the romance of being close and not in the being apart and missing each other and falling deeper into love with each other? Why do people fall apart when they're away? Why do they look for other sources of entertainment to keep their minds engaged when they're away from the one they so loved? Can that ever be justified? Why do people cheat on each other? How much more is being in it harder than falling in love? It shouldn't be like that, right? It all comes together. The pain, the joy. All of it. Is there no guilt? Why is love taken for granted?
It's not fair. Despite being the uninvolved third party, my heart proverbially goes out. For the one who is so trusting and away and so much in love and is absolutely unaware of what people are up to. Commitment is not that tough, ask me. It isn't. Though it's none of my business.
21 comments:
1.taboo is excitement,
2.multiple partners is excitement
3.a physical relationship doesn't indicate the presence of love
4.and hence cheating doesn't indicate the absence of it
5.what's wrong with loving more than one person? why do people want to be 'the only one'? no one's perfect and no one can be complete and hence the need for cheating
jus like right and wrong. love,hate are also very subjective. every one have there own definition to it and according to me if u cant sustain long relationship then that is not love.
sometimes i envy americans as they completely mean it when they utter the L word which is not the same with ours.
agree with all anon above has to say... and to add my bit, why do we have to be so judgemental?? is there someone who is completely trusting, and is there someone who is completely loyal and honest??
Commitment takes a great deal of work. If someone is incapable of it, they cheat. Nothing has to be bad if everything is in the open and cleanly dealt with.
One cant be perfect I agree, but one can try. And its not hard.
Its easy to do easy stuff, like get involved with many..
But the one who has better integrity, knows what to do
Its the same with anything meaningful in life, your job, yur love, your passion
If you respect a person's achievements, even making a relationshp work is an achievement and the ones who dont deter are to be applauded(I am talking of mindless flings and not genuine love that you might lose in a relationship)
If you dont know how to sustain it, you are closer to animals than humans. Its just the degree which varies in each of us
People in this age are too scared of "reactions" as they fear getting overpowered and accused.
So I believe the most important aspect of a romantic relationship is friendship and transparency;
and I know by experience, its not that difficult to achieve !
I am committed to the same woman for years now.
Its repulsive to see a naked body that is not mine, and sometimes all I want to see is nakedness.
My woman is free to roam any roads she wants as long as she knows her way back home.
I wrote a whole post for you on this :)
Summary: Attraction leads to relationships - if being in relationships negates attraction, hell it contradicts being in one. I could flirt all my life with my woman all day all night!
If it can't negate attraction, then the mechanism has a beat of its own, but hell commitment has nothing to do with it! So I can never judge anyone.
There is no limit to my love or memory, and I am too full of the same face!
There are no rules, hell, there is no choice either!
Anonymous
1. Love Satan, do you?
2. Isn't that why you are anonymous?
3. One night stands are different, but a prolonged physical relationship without emotional consequences is a rarity
4. It does, love is faith, commitment
5. There's noting wrong with loving more than one person except that you cannot love more than one person
Boobesh
Perception of a proposal varies across cultures, but the emotion stays unanimously, the same.
Sage
It's not about being judgmental, it's about being honest, with yourself
D2
That brings me back to the question of how open is open enough? And if the so called open relationship is possible within human constraints?
Rajita
I understand the subjectivity of things, but human intelligence can distinguish integrity from the absolute lack of it
Enchanta
:) Nice to meet a believer.. almost enchanted! :)
V
how incredibly sweet is that! Lucky her.. and I see I am increasingly becoming an inspiration for your writing :D
@Wildflower
Oh yeah! I seemed to have reached the dead end, very little joy or anguish of my own. Most of the times I see myself responding to beauty in others now.
@D2 and Wildflower
There are no right answers to wrong questions. The right questions are very simple: To what extent? For what reason?
The first gives you your stakes and standing and hence your passion, the second a moral compass to measure against YOUR accepted principles of living. Feelings be damned.
If you are lucky, you will get out of the traps of habits, and need for security - then you flow and are secure in yourself.
I now understand that nothing in human life outside the scope of measurement is of any value.
As to my knowledge, some people are not made for commitment. They have an ever wandering mind, one which gets too bored with the same stuff. Its like they are in an illusion of love. For them cheating is not difficult I guess. They are always in search for someone.
And even though it is not possible to love 2 person at the same time, a few confused souls may have an illusion of that. And that is equally deadly I guess.
Clearing out confusions about what D2 intended to convey, I know for a fact he was talking about exactly what I meant, that is friendship and transparency.
I bet he didn't literally mean "an open relationship", a concept I don't understand.
@ Wildflower : Glad to be a part of your thoughts.
I loved and totally agree with what Zave has to say.
@Wildflower : What I meant was that if two people are open enough about what they need or want from each other, a question of cheating does not arise. People cheat when they're not satisfied with their partners in some or other way.
As Enchanta said, it's called 'transparency' and that is of utmost importance in any relationship which involves any emotional attachment between two people.
Hey, I din't mean any offence. We're just extending each other's thoughts.. trying to define things undefinable.. :)
Readin the comments has been an experience by itself!! Sure is a pot-pourri of perceptions about this thing called love.......:) Yes I exactly understand wat u r referring 2.....it's best got 2 b seen in B-school where u hav all d freedom in d wrld 2 do watever u want- mostly ppl cheat their partners grossly. Miles away....where no one asks u a qn...where u nvr disclose whom u slept wid. That's how it is. Love left in the lurch. Very few ppl are- the Faithful. Most fall in the category that Anonymous sez. Not an irony that supporter of the 'Unfaithful' talks from behind the curtains.....the guilt sure lurks somewhere.......left 2 them 2 figure it out. If dey dnt, que sera sera.....:)
You understood exactly what made me write this, this could get worse when people around here get to read this comment.. but then Que Sera Sera!
@ amrita.
One merely states an experience. There is neither guilt nor fear. If you read my comments closely, it's more double ended than not ;)
Society must die before you can even hope to love - feelings as an aftermath of action are glorious, as a pre cursor to action are invariably miserable.
I am perpetually amazed by the double standards people live by, the image of self never belongs to ourselves, it is when we look at ourelves in 3rd person and accept a morality passed to us that does not belong to us that we give rise to glorious contradictions.
In reality, we simply flow and there is nothing called fidelity outside conditioning and our stubborn stance to life. Yet, we hit a point where the illusion of choice is dead.
Precisely what i wanted 2 write.. But then am not a writer ;)
PS: An honest confession here.. the only post till date of which i read all the comments :)
Our conversation the other day, made me write this :) And this is one rare occasion when my inspiration for a post has read and commented :P and I am not scared a bit!!
@ Amrita
you have an belief. i have a belief. and when someone writes a blog about something, generally these different beliefs come out in the form of comments..
if someone is commenting anonymously, his desire for privacy deserves as much respect as your wish to come out in the open and state your case... whatsay??
ps: i am not anonymousm, and i agree with him/her
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