5 am thoughts!

I met an acquaintance of yours. Common friends are a great discomfort you know. He asked me how I know you. I wanted to correct him by saying that I knew you. But he didn't deserve to know that. I asked him how he knows you and he came up with a convincing answer. I had none. My heart shrank for a moment and then I nervously told him that you were just an acquaintance. World is a small place. It's hard not to know people. Just an acquaintance. Did I say friend? I don't even remember, I was a little too shocked. It was like our tiny secret could be out in the open anytime, my little secret. I told him that we knew each other for sometime, sometime before we lost touch.

I didn't tell him a lot of things. A hoard of things.The way I lost my sleep when you wanted me to be awake. The way you never got me down from cloud 9. The way you made me laugh, breathlessly sometimes. How at the end of those laughs I would have forgotten why I had begun laughing in the first place. Yeah, that crazy! I didn't tell him all this. I trust you, you haven't told him either, have you. I hid from him memories of our endless conversations, late into the nights. I didn't tell him about your caresses to my early morning sleepy mumbles. He doesn't deserve to know, does he. Some stories should die untold.Unheard. Some secrets are created to be frozen.  I didn't tell him how much you had entered into my conscious, how you were almost on my speed-dial those days. How you lived in the back of my mind, all day all night. I didn't tell him about my endless waits, I didn't tell him about my bouts of madness, utter madness, that unruly longing to belong to you. Nah, nothing.

I din't tell him that I was practically in love with you. I din't tell him why we couldn't be together. Nothing at all. I hope he doesn't have the slightest idea and isn't mocking at me inside. I would hate that. Shit, I hate common friends. I just hate-hate them.

Prequel to this: here 


Grace Personified said...

You, ma'm, are brilliant. I think I should just sit back, relax and watch while you write stories from all our lives and more.

The Sage said...

common friends are the bane of society!!

nOt anyone you know said...

it is embarrassing, to the point that you would run away. coz there is always this fear, that unsurity that you dont knw enough, or would come out as a complete surprise, or that you would have been forgotten when mentioned back.

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Do I know you? I don't think we've ever known each other, but those traits, they just remind me of someone, now almost a faint memory. Okay, here's the deal... lets pretend this never happened... lets be strangers. World's indeed a small place, but its still enough, must have some corners to hibernate?

Soumya said...

Totally Agree.. Mutual friends are unwanted reminders!

Rajita said...

But how does it matter?
Dint you say he does not deserve to know..so if someone does not deserve to know things about you..its totally inconsequential what s/he thinks about your relationships

Actually it would kind of give me a thrill..to make that person feel that there is so much I hide

Those sacred secrets!

wildflower said...

Are all our lives so strikingly the same!?

Hence Perfect Isolation is the ultimate idea.

Yeah, there was this mixed flow of emotions into me. For a second I was happy because this guy was the one last connection between us. The next I was scared and yeah somewhat embarrassed too.

U said that on my be-half!

Nice to see you here again :)

Sacred is the new adjective, thanks!

aria said...

I never thought about this before but now I think I agree.. mutual friends mutilate relationships.. even the ones that over ..

Bloody Mary said...

I hate common friends.

Rain Girl said...

Common friends are a great discomfort you know.

this is so close to my ohilosphy....

Rain Girl said...

I meant philosophy :P

wildflower said...

also it's a wonder how some relationships never end, inside your mind though

Bloody Mary
I try indifference

Rain Girl
of course you did :)