Fluctuating Loyalties

I was looking at a someone's picture and smiling like you often do. And then a second later I looked my phone and it occured to me that I was waiting for another someone's call. For the next few moments, in the dark template of my blog, I gaped at myself, wide mouthed. Something was seriously wrong. I was infatuated to two people at the same time. Unconsciously moving away from the first someone, and conscioulsy closer to the second someone. Does this read adulterous already?

Something similar had happened with me a few years ago. You know you are only perfectly normal if you have scores of crushes. So I happened to meet two of my previous flames at the same time and at the same place. Then followed my platinum opportunity to see them sit side by side. I took the liberties to juxtapose them. I tried to figure our similarities between them to spot my favorite traits and differences to judge if my taste had matured with time. I also compared my madness about the two of them in the two different periods of my life. That afternoon I sat down there infront of them both and quietly carried out this experiment in the world's oblivion. From then on I started having a perspective of my own. And I concluded that I am never to be taken seriously. Till date, I stick, humbly to that conclusion.

But now, I am almost two-timing. Sacrilegious. I understand this doesn't cause any harm of any sort to any of the three of us. But nevertheless. I am stuck in between the two of them. I am in between of nowhere. I wish this transition paces up a little. I hate being stuck, anyway.

11 comments:

Vagabond said...

i so wish i didn't relate to it.
this is the worst part of life.

Vaga Bond said...

haha this is kinda funny, it is meant to be? I think it is great to be infatuated to more than one person at the same time. Being a horribly loyal person (I think as a result of an overkill of oxytocin in my brain) I find it difficult to even ogle at John Abraham when I have a crush on someone. But rare instances when I actually get the attention of more than one person, I totally totally love them :P

Hopeless Romantic said...

Well. well....its kinda funny, sad and emotional if such a kind happens.....All the best :)

N!V said...

Wow..i love the way u put such undescrible and personal emotions into words..Beautiful!

sonik said...

It's a relief to know someone else faces a similar issue.

wildflower said...

@ Vagabond
n writin this out here was like trying to make that 'worst-part-of-life' look funny..

@ Vaga Bond
lucky gurl :)
well it was neva meant to be funny but sumtyms d naked truth is as ridiculous as cud be..

@ Hopeless Romantic
oh thnkyu ;)

@ N!V
see..that needs sum skill :P

@ sonik
glad 2 hav u here..!

Vaga Bond said...

A friend of mine who quotes Wilde too much says "Life is too important to be taken seriously" :)
I am trying to learn how to reconcile with that paradox

Preeti said...

wow !! enjoy it girl !! I have done that ..and i dont regret a thing ...coz both of them din deserve my loyality :) ..ofcourse i don realise it then , but now i am soooo glad i did what i did ...

i know how it kills at that time ..coz that thing called guilt comes over ..also its kinda starining to handle two relationships at same time ...best part is when u are not seeing anyone but flirting not exactly dating more than one guy ...its fuuunnnnn...and u dont even feel guilty about it ...

wildflower said...

@ Vaga Bond
mm.. does s/he live that paradox? aren't we like designed to take life seriously ? i wonder .. i wish otherwise though.

@ Preeti
Forget loyalty girl, I don't even trust them to be who they are. I am a seasoned cynic and have a problem in believing! & well i am not flirtin with them.. m just a lil too 'crush'-ed by them..as of now ;)

Anonymous said...

Hey guyz! This is the impact of studying Finance - Simple Thoery of Diversifying the Portfolio !!!

wildflower said...

Nah! I keep my personal life way apart from my professional life.. And I am good at that!