somewhere in time the forces inside me stopped fighting. they totally left me at some random zero-energy level. then on i stopped trying in life. i stopped trying because i didn't want anything out of life. i avoided unnecessary acquaintance. but those things could never get on my nerves, even then. their presence was as good as their absence. i was anyway lost somewhere within myself. i haven't essentially talked in years, or so i feel. depression has made way for staunch indifference. i quit wearing earrings. lost my ability to believe. to hope. i have been painfully at peace. i never color my nails. red, never. i keep wondering that this must be life's way of making the wise out of the foolish. the seasoned out of the adolescent. i like not to talk much. listening is involuntary and never happens.

but now an x has come out of th blue. x's absence is more conspicuous than x's presence. x has taken me back a few years or has made me as vulnerable as then. with x, i laugh a lot. i want to undo the above-mentioned process of seasoning. i'm afraid i'm beginning to believe, again.

x hasn't seen my face yet. and i'm wondering beneath my silver veil.

PS: this picture is unrelated to thispost.
yet, this is where it has to be.


ani said...

:) life's like a leaf.. it comes full 'circle' and then traverses through in various veins and needles!

The Juggernaut said...

the random picture somehow adds to the appeal of the post

liked it =D

Lucifer said...

like in d previous post

all i wud wanna say is

..... :)

wildflower said...

@ ani
oh..i thot once it comes a full keeps repeating itself :D

@ juggernaut
thnx.. hats off to d one who captured it~

@ mayz
:)... :)

................your's entirely said...

as always I am left bewildered and wondering after reading this....

Aashayein said...

I am entirely in love with your blog!!!!!

wildflower said...

@ ..your's entirely
i am equally bewildered and wonderin while writin dem..and ths probably is it..!

@ mansi
hmm..a blog is a gud thing to fall in luv with :)

Pri said...

been there done that...a few realisations down the line and u learn that in the end, nothing matters!!

wildflower said...

but i, after unpredictable intervals of time, still keep forgettin this thing that in the bitter end nuthin matters!!

WomanInLove said...

My God..I was just readign your posts..and this post made me wonder how can you write like me(much elder to you) at an age as tender as 21..

This is wierd..are people aging so fast now?

wildflower said...

I have a mental age of 10, they say.. :) ..not without reason..

wildflower said...

i meant 40, that was a typo :P