Abandoned

The first time you left me, I was angry. My uncontrollable rage wouldn't even let me ask for your reason. I was mad at me and my fate because of which I lost you. I kept asking myself, how could anyone forget anyone so easily? Was forgetting that easy a process after all? Teach me someone! Because I have serious problems forgetting certain people in my life. So many why's popped up inside my head, but my heart was ashamed. I cried myself to sleep, bit my lips, trying to overcome this unknown emotion, but I didn't try to confront you. Rather I stared at the horizon, waiting hopelessly for time to answer my questions.

The second time you abandoned me, I was almost in love with you. I was heartbroken. I wouldn't look at my face in the mirror because somewhere deep down I felt it was because of me that you had left me. I was the reason, for the betrayal, for my own estrangement. Some undiscovered flaw in me, or a pretty obvious one had made you hate me. I looked into myself, I got lost. I kept blaming myself, I wanted to cure the flaw, call you back, at any cost. I was so distressed, I indulged. In long walks, got lost amongst strangers, kept taking pictures to keep my mind off you. My life froze, completely. There was no way I could console myself. I was heartbroken.

The third time you left without a notice, I was expecting to see your face the first thing in the morning, probably give you a good morning kiss. A moist one, with the remnants of the dreams that I had seen in the night, of us. But you had left. Then I went on an indiscriminate shopping spree. At the end of the day it dawned on me that you are only incredibly stupid. Incredibly stupid to leave me. Or may be you are a trifle insane too. So this time around, I let you leave.